


Sucker for Pain

by Sourwolf_sterek32



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Harm, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, beth is the sweetest, but daryl is there to help her, but i promise there are sweet scenes too, daryl dixon has a heart, reader gets hurt a lot, reader is an assassin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:29:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 43,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23408323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sourwolf_sterek32/pseuds/Sourwolf_sterek32
Summary: Everyone has demons, some louder than others and some, like yourself, who use blades to silence them. Before the world died, you were an assassin and thought you were better off alone, until you kept running into the same blue eyed archer who changed your mind.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/You
Comments: 65
Kudos: 89





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is honestly the darkest fic I have ever written. Self harm and cutting is a fairly big part of this fic for the reader, so please if this triggers you then don’t read it. Take care of yourself first, but I promise there are sweet fluffy moments in this fic too.

It was just meant to be a simple supply run into town, but of course things were never that easy. When have they ever been that easy for a Dixon? His whole life had just been a streak of bad luck and nothing had changed since the world fell apart.

"Daryl!" Glenn shouted, above the loud groans of the walkers surrounding them and he quickly spun around just in time to slam the end of his crossbow against the walker behind him. He ran out of bolts for his crossbow like 20 walkers ago, but they just kept coming.

"Down here!" Glenn yelled pointing down an alleyway in the town and they both quickly ducked down the alley between two buildings as the herd of walkers followed them.

"Shit." Daryl muttered as another group of walkers came out from the other end of the alley, cutting them off completely.

They both quickly turned around, hoping they could get out through the way they came in, but the other herd had already staggered into the alleyway and they were surrounded. The two of them were stuck in a small alleyway with walkers blocking their only exits and they had run out of ammo. They were fucked.

Daryl glanced back towards Glenn who was already staring at him in pure panic, clearly coming to same conclusion as him. There was no point trying to lie to the guy and say that he'll think of a way out, because there was no way out. So, he just nodded towards the walkers and Glenn seemed to understand what he was thinking as they both stood back to back with their knifes out. No way were they going down without a fight.

Before either of them had a chance to take down the first walker a sudden gunshot echoed through the air and the walker a few metres in front of Daryl dropped to the ground with a bullet hole through it's eye.

"Thought ya said ya were out of bullets?" Daryl questioned, glancing over at Glenn only to realise the man was holding his knife and not a gun.

"That wasn't me, it was the person on the roof over there." Glenn responded pointing towards a tall brick building in the distance where he could just spot the outline of a person lying on the edge of the roof top with a sniper rifle. The person continued firing the sniper taking down the walkers around them causing Glenn to turn back towards him in confusion.

"Is the sniper helping us?" He questioned in disbelief, but Daryl just stared at the person for a few seconds before looking back towards the walkers realising the person was trying to clear a path for them to escape.

"Seems like it, c'mon." Daryl responded, grabbing Glenn's arm as he pulled the man with him down the alleyway. They took down a few walkers with their knives as they ran, but the sniper had taken most of them down before they even got the chance. Within a few seconds the two of them were out the alleyway and running down the street towards their car.

They could still hear the loud echoing shots of the persons sniper in the distance before they quickly got into the car. Daryl climbed into the drivers side as Glenn practically jumped into the passenger side, slamming the door shut before the walkers could get them as Daryl started the engine and sped off.

Neither of them said anything for a few minutes as they caught their breath and tried to process everything that had just happened. They both thought they were going to die and then this sniper comes out of nowhere and helps them escape... that's never happened before.

"Where did that sniper come from? Why would they help us?" Glenn questioned once they were a few miles out of town and began heading back to the prison, but Daryl just shrugged his shoulders because he had no idea. He thought the town was abandon, but apparently walkers weren't the only things in the town.

"Did you ever see those news reports or articles in the paper about that Shadow Assassin? That woman with a sniper who assassinated all those people? I think it was like 50 people she killed, well that the cops knew about. Everyone either admired her for what she did or hated her for it. She was a murderer, but everyone she killed were bad people. She was like Americas very own vigilante." Glenn explained, his tone sounding almost excited as he spoke.

"Why ya tellin' me all this?" Daryl asked, glancing over at the man beside him before focusing back on the road. Of course he had heard of the Shadow Assassin before, he might have lived in a shit-hole, but he still heard the news. Merle hated the assassin, saying that she was just trying to copy an older assassin who had been around before his time. Apparently, they had the same style, taking out only bad people with a bullet through their eye from a sniper, but the original assassin was a man and he suddenly disappeared one day and had never been seen again.

When this new assassin got on the cops radar 20 years later everyone thought that he had come back, but someone got a photo of the man, but it wasn't a man, it was a woman. She was dressed in black, a hoodie and bandanna covering her face like the original assassin, even had the same model sniper. Merle had been pissed when he found out, but Daryl knew he was just annoyed that it was a woman doing all of this because she was more badass than him and it hurt his ego.

"What if that sniper was her? You saw how the bullets hit the walkers in the eyes, just like how she did." Glenn responded, but Daryl shook his head. The Shadow Assassin was dead, she died in a car crash trying to get away from the cops a few months before the dead started to rise. But, for some reason he couldn't shake the feeling that maybe it was her. Glenn was right about the bullets through the eyes and not many people could shoot that accurately from that distance. It could be her, but he didn't want to tell Glenn that because the guy couldn't keep a secret if his life depended on it and he didn't want Rick worrying about it.

"Nah, was just a coincidence. The Shadow Assassin died before all this, why'd ya know so much 'bout her?" He asked curiously, keeping his attention on the road. He didn't know anyone who liked the Assassin, although that was probably because he lived in a town full of drunks and criminals who probably feared she might show up and kill them. But he knew some people liked her, liked how she was killing rapists and paedophiles whereas the cops just put them in jail for five years and they usually got out on good behaviour or something stupid which was just bullshit. Most people either loved or hated the assassin, but he didn't really care unless she was actually still alive and decided she wanted to start killing more than just bad guys, but he doubted she would.

"My cousin was obsessed with her, every family gathering he'd tell me all the latest news and gossip about the assassin. He had so many theories for years about who the assassin was, but she died in that car explosion before the cops could ID her." Glenn explained, with a small smile on his face no doubt thinking back to the days with his cousin and Daryl nodded.

Glenn continued to talk about the assassin the entire drive back to the prison, but Daryl suspected that the man was just rambling because he was still in shock with how close they came to being walker food. If that sniper hadn't been there and decided to help them then they would have been goners.

-

Rick and the others were all sitting around a few of the picnic tables in the main room beside the cell block eating some kind of stew that Carol no doubt cooked up. Him and Glenn immediately sat down with them, eating their own bowls while Glenn explained why the supply run was a bust.

"There's a sniper out there? If that person finds this place they could easily kill us from the woods the second we step outside." Rick responded, looking between the two of them as he ran his fingers through his hair nervously.

"Nah, she ain't gonna hurt us." Daryl said, speaking up for the first time since they got back as he placed his spoon in his now empty bowl and looked over at Rick.

"She? The person was so far away, how could you tell?" Glenn asked curiously from the seat beside him.

"Reckon it was the same woman with a sniper who helped Maggie 'n I back when we went on that first run for baby formula just after everything happened." Daryl explained, glancing over Maggie causing her eyes to go wide in surprise.

They got swarmed by walkers and a woman with Y/H/L Y/H/C hair and a sniper showed up out of nowhere and saved them. They had tried to ask if she wanted to come back with them, but for some reason the woman said that she was better off alone and disappeared off into the woods. He hadn't seen her since, but he was pretty sure the sniper who was helping them today was her.

"What? You didn't tell me that." Rick responded in confusion, but Maggie answered before he could even figure out how to word a response.

"You weren't exactly in the right state of mind that day, we didn't think you needed to worry about it. That woman saved us from walkers and overheard us talking about needing baby formula. She told us about a daycare centre in the next town over that was stacked full of supplies. If it wasn't for her, Judith probably wouldn't be here." Maggie explained and Daryl nodded in agreement.

"Alright, but what if she has a group? Would they try to take this place?" Rick asked worriedly, but Daryl shook his head. He understood why Rick was being cautious about this, he was too when he first saw her, but there was just something about her that made him trust her and he had no idea why.

"Nah, reckon she's alone. If she wanted to kill us she would've done it already, she ain't no threat." He reassured and Rick nodded, although he still seemed a bit sceptical about the woman and he'd hate to see how Rick would react if he knew about Daryl's suspicions that she was actually that assassin, but he'll keep that information to himself for now.

-

You had been on your own long before the dead started to rise, but unlike most people, you were actually relived when it happened. For you it seemed like the world was giving you a second chance, a chance to help people and do something good because before it all started, you weren't a good person.

You had spent most of your life killing people, granted none of them were innocent, they were rapists, drug dealers, murders, child abusers, and the list goes on. They were all bad people, but that didn't make killing them okay, well that's what the cops always said anyway.

Your father used to be an assassin, but once you were born he stopped. You never wanted the life your father had, you hated the idea of killing a person and he never talked about the stuff he used to do because he knew you didn't like it. But he did teach you how to fight, how to shoot and how to look after yourself. You never understood why you needed to learn that stuff, but once your parents died you were glad he taught you everything.

The day your world ended wasn't when the dead came back to life, it was the day you watched your parents get murdered. You were only 12 years old when your mother stuffed you inside a closet and told you stay inside and stay quiet no matter what. You could see everything through the small gap between the doors and watched helplessly as masked men stormed into the room and slaughtered your parents before your very eyes.

After that day everything changed. You found your fathers old gear from back in the day, the black hooded jumper, the black bandanna, his ammunition belt that was just full of high calibre sniper bullets his black backpack, his Barrett M95 bolt-action sniper rifle that he taught you how to use and his small black note book that you knew was his hit-list. It had four whole pages full of names, most of them crossed out, but a few weren't and you knew it was highly likely that the men who killed your parents had to be on the list and that was how it started.

You lived in the cabin by yourself for the next few years as you trained to become better. Better at shooting, better at hand to hand combat, better in every way because once you were older you were going to finish what your father started and kill the people remaining on his list.

It took years, but you eventually did it. You managed to track down every last man on the list and finish them, wearing your fathers old gear that you had altered to fit your body shape. But, after you finished the list you didn't know what to do, until you came across a man raping a young girl in the back of an alley and you killed him. After that you began to hunt out other bad people and did what the cops couldn't.

Nobody knew who you were, everyone thought you were your father for the first few years until one sneaky news photographer managed to get a blurry photo of you which shook the country because you could clearly tell you were a woman and not a man by your body shape.

The cops could never catch you, you were gone before they even knew you had taken another life, they didn't even know your name because technically Y/N Y/L/N didn't exist. You never had a public record, you never went to school because you were home schooled by your mother, you never had a drivers licence, hell, you didn't even have a gun license. All you had were a bunch of fake ID's to keep any cops happy if they happen to pull you over for speeding or something.

However, years later the police started getting smarter and you knew it was only a matter of time before you were caught. So, you put a plan into motion and faked your own death and to your shock it actually worked. You ended up back at your families old cabin and then a few months later the dead started to rise and your world ended for the second time, except this time you were happy that it did. The world gave you a second chance.

You tried to help any survivors you came across which is what you did today when two idiots came into town and unleashed a herd of walkers upon themselves when the Asian man opened a car door and set it's alarm off. You were camping on the roof of a double story building and watched the entire thing unfold. It was as quite entertaining since they were the first people you had seen for weeks, but then you recognised the familiar angel winged vest on the other man.

You had met that man before, months ago. He was with a woman and they were looking for baby food or formula or something and got attacked by walkers before you stepped in and helped them. They had offered you to join their group, but you refused. You weren't good with groups, you were better on your own, had been for most your life so you didn't mind. But, you appreciated their offer and a few weeks later you came across a prison and while you were checking it out through the scope of your sniper you saw that same man with the angel wings walking around with a bunch of other people and you knew that was the group they were talking about.

You watched them for a while before disappearing back into the woods and kept your distance from the place, you didn't want to scare the people or make them think that you were a threat to them. They were safe and happy in their little community and you were fine out on your own.

You watched as the two men got themselves trapped in an alleyway between two buildings, so you grabbed your sniper and laid down on the edge of the building and began taking down the walkers to clear a path for the men. The two of them stood there frozen for a few seconds when you began to shoot, but to your relief they quickly snapped into action and managed to get out of there and into their car before they sped off and you figured they were going back to that prison community.

"That was a close one." You commented to yourself, watching the car disappear out the town as you sat back up and screwed the silencer back on the end of the barrel. Usually you'd leave the silencer on, but you figured with the loud gunshots it might distract the walkers from the two men.

Once you reconnected the silencer you rested your sniper on the side of the roof beside you as you moved into a sitting position, letting your legs dangle off the edge of the roof while you watched the walkers stagger mindlessly around the streets of the small town below you.

You sat there for a while scanning the abandon town as the sun slowly began to set along the horizon. Your hand absently rubbed against the scars and cuts over your left wrist from under the sleeve of your jacket.

Carefully you pulled up the sleeve of your hunting camo jacket exposing the cuts along your wrist. Some were fresh, others had mostly healed while the others were just white and pink scars scattered over your wrist and lower arm. You weren't sure when you had started using self-harm to deal with your issues, it was probably around the time your parents died. You weren't exactly sure how you even thought of the idea to begin with, but it helped.

Whether it was cutting with a knife, burning with a cigarette lighter or anything else that could cause pain, it somehow helped. If someone asked you to explain it you wouldn't be able to, but it just helped, because for those few minutes the only thing your mind is focused on is the pain. The only thing your mind can comprehend is the pain and suddenly everything else around you, everything bad going on in your life just disappears.

For most people physical pain was bad and they tried to avoid it at all cost, but you knew something was wrong when you practically welcomed the pain. When you wished for the blade of your knife to slice your skin, not enough to bleed heavily, but enough for you to feel it for the next few days, enough for you to feel something other than emotional pain and guilt for everything you had done in the old world because that is all you could feel these days and you were sick of it.

You were bad person, you killed people and it didn't matter that they were criminals, you still killed people and you deserved the pain you were giving yourself. At least this way you could control what you felt, you could control the pain and that was enough.

You stared at the cuts and scars over your inner arm before you pulled your Bowie knife out that was strapped to your belt as you pressed the edge of the blade against your skin, drawing a thin line of blood and watched the crimson blood slowly trickle down your wrist and off the edge of the roof, hitting the ground below you.


	2. Chapter 2

***3 Months Later***

You were just walking aimlessly through the woods, your backpack on your back and sniper rifle slung over your shoulder beside your bag. You had your Bowie knife in your hand and your handgun strapped to your belt as you trekked through the woods.

You were trying to find a group of men who had robbed you a few weeks ago. There wasn't many people who could sneak up on you while you were sleeping, but some how these assholes did. They didn't take much because you must have woken up before they could scavenge your camp, but they took most of your food and stole the silencer for your sniper rifle that wasn't connected to your gun. If they had just stolen food you probably would have let them go, it was a survival game now and everyone needed food, but they took your silencer and you weren't going to let that go.

"Daryl!" A young girl's voice screamed causing you to freeze in your tracks as your grip tightened around your knife. You quickly looked around the dense woods, but you couldn't see anyone. You didn't even think anyone else was around these parts of the woods, but looks like you were wrong.

"Help!" The same voice yelled and you quickly snapped into action and took off running in the direction of where it came from.

You jumped and weaved between trees and logs, your knife in your hand when you spotted a young blonde girl trying to fight off six walkers. She had her hair tied up in a messy pony tail, sporting a dark tank top, jeans and cowgirl boots, but now was not the time to suss the girl out because she was in the middle of fighting a losing battle.

"Duck!" You yelled and to your relief the girl didn't hesitate and instantly dropped to the ground as you threw your Bowie knife at the walker behind her, spearing the blade through it's forehead. You pulled your pocket knife out from your jacket pocket and quickly slammed the small knife into the next walker that was stumbling towards you. Two down, four to go.

You quickly turned back towards the girl who had pulled your knife out the walker behind her and was about to take down the walker to her left. Suddenly, an arrow flew through the air past her and hit the walkers skull, but the girl didn't seemed panicked by the arrow, so you figured whoever fired it was a friendly.

You turned your attention back towards the four walkers in front of you as you kicked the closest one to the ground and stabbed the other before you slammed your boot down against the head of the walker on the ground. You turned back towards the last walker, but before you had a chance to take a step towards it, another arrow whizzed past your face and the walker dropped to the ground dead.

"Thank you." The same voice suddenly said a few seconds later, bringing your attention away from the walkers on the ground as you turned around to find the young girl walking towards you with a grateful smile.

She held your knife out towards you and you noticed a bunch of bracelets covering her left wrist, but you didn't miss the thick scar underneath it as you took the knife with a nod. You didn't say anything as you glanced to your left spotting the man you assumed must be Daryl and you're eyes widened recognising that leather vest and crossbow anywhere. How do you keep finding this guy?

The man didn't say anything as he just stared at you like he had seen a ghost. You held his gaze, not really knowing how to respond, but you had a feeling he had figured out who you were and that was either a good thing or a really bad thing. People either hated or loved the Shadow Assassin, so this was gonna be interesting.

"Wait, you're that sniper that saved Daryl and Maggie and then saved Daryl and Glenn a few months ago aren't you?" The girl asked and you weren't sure who Maggie or Glenn were, but you were pretty sure you knew who she was talking about and you nodded.

"Ya that Shadow Assassin?" Daryl asked bluntly as he stared at you with an unreadable expression and you sighed as you sheathed your knife and crossed your arms over your chest as you stared at the man.

"Is that a problem?" You asked defensively because it seemed like he already knew the answer to the question, but he shook his head.

"Nah, ya saved my life twice already. Don't give a shit who ya used to be." He responded and you relaxed slightly after hearing that, but didn't get a chance to respond before the girl began talking again.

"I'm Beth, this is Daryl. Do you have a camp or something?" She -Beth- asked hopefully, but you shook your head and wondered what happened to their community.

You remembered seeing clouds of smoke coming from their communities direction a few days ago, something must have happened.

The girl looked down sadly and you knew she must be struggling out here, after having walls, food and shelter for so long, it would suck to have all of that suddenly taken away from you.

"Actually, I do. There's a cabin not too far from here. I used to use it to lay low back in the day, if nobody's scavenged it there should be food and drinks inside. I'm Y/N, by the way." You responded, glancing between the two of them.

"Alcoholic drinks?" Beth questioned and you didn't miss the way Daryl rolled his eyes behind his hair causing you to grin.

"Is there any other kind? Come on, let's go." You replied nodding in the right direction of the cabin as the two of them began to follow you. You wanted to ask what happened to their community, what happened to their other people, but that was probably not a good thing to ask, so you kept your mouth shut.

Nobody talked as you lead them through the woods, but you could see Daryl eyeing the sniper over your shoulder occasionally and you had to give the man credit for figuring out who you were so quickly, people rarely figured it out which was probably for the better.

Within an hour the three of you finally reached the old rundown cabin in the middle of the woods. It was still exactly the same as when you had last been there, although that was years ago. It was a lot like the cabin you grew up in with your parents, although this one was smaller and more isolated which you liked.

"Home sweet home." You called out as you began to make your way around to the garage along the side of the house. You opened the door and grinned spotting the bottles of moonshine still sitting in the wooden crate where you left it and picked it up before walking back out.

"What's that?" Beth asked, staring at the crate in your arms curiously.

"Moonshine." Daryl answered and you grinned, he must have had some of this kind of stuff before. "Ya made this between killin' bad guys?" He asked and for a second you were annoyed that he bought it up, the Shadow Assassin died a long time ago, but you were relived that he used the word 'bad guys' so you let it slide.

"Met a farmer up north who traded this with me if I killed his brother-in-law. I did my research and his brother-in-law was a wife bashing, child abusing pervert, so I said yes." You answered truthfully, handing Daryl the crate not giving him a time to respond before you began walking towards the front door.

You pulled your knife out as you walked inside first and did a quick sweep of the small cabin before declaring that was it all clear and the three of you stood around the table as Daryl began to pour out two glasses of moonshine.

"That's a real first drink right there." Daryl said, handing the small glass to Beth before you grabbed the other glass and took a large drink. You welcomed the burning in your throat as you did, but Beth clearly didn't enjoy it by the look on her face.

"That's the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted."

"It gets better after a while, trust me." You responded, winking at the girl who grinned before reaching for the jar to refill her glass.

"This one's for you." She said, looking over at Daryl who quickly shook his head.

"No, I'm good. Someone's got to keep watch." He replied, but you had a feeling there was another reason why he didn't want to drink it, but you weren't going to call him out on it. If he didn't want to drink that was his choice, but you sure as hell will.

You took a seat by the small table with Beth, leaning your sniper against the table and your backpack on the ground while Daryl began hammering up wooden boards to cover the windows. It was a smart idea, keep light from getting out during the night and to muffle your voices inside so walkers couldn't hear, but you didn't really care. You planned on leaving by nightfall. You helped these people, they had somewhere semi-safe to stay for the time being, you had done your part, they were better off without you anyway.

Beth mostly talked while you sat together, she didn't really talk about anything important just what she used to do before all this and how she lived on a farm and had never drunk alcohol before. It was nice listening to the young girl talk, it kept your mind away from other stuff which you were grateful for.

A few minutes later Beth began looking around the cabin trying to find anything useful when she found some kind of statue that you didn't even realise was in the cabin and asked who would buy something like that. After that Daryl began to talk about how his father would've and how he used to live in a dump just like this and you were starting to get the feeling that his father wasn't a good man, but you didn't dare ask.

Somehow Beth managed to convince Daryl to join the two you in drinking and Daryl sat down on the crappy lounge chair while you bought two chairs from the kitchen and placed them around the broken coffee table where the jars of moonshine now were. Beth sat down on one of the chairs before you grabbed one of the full jars and sat down beside her before she began to explain some kind of drinking game that the three of you should play.

"So first I say something I've never done and if you have done it, you drink, and if you haven't, I drink. Then we switch. You two really don't know this game?" She asked, glancing between the two of you and you both shook your heads. You never really had any friends growing up to play drinking games with, but this seemed like it could be fun.

"I never needed a game to get lit before." Daryl muttered and well that was a pretty good answer.

"Okay, I'll start. I've never shot a crossbow. So now you drink." Beth said, motioning towards Daryl as he took a drink. "Now Y/N goes." She said looking over at you and it was surprisingly hard to think of something.

"I've never been on a boat." You said causing both Daryl and Beth to drink as you lent back in your chair as Beth said it was Daryl's turn.

"I don't know... I've never been outta Georgia." He muttered and you instantly took a drink because you had travelled all across the country to take out the names in your fathers book.

"Okay, good one." Beth replied sweetly as she took a drink. "I've never been drunk and did something I regretted."

"I've done a lot of things." Daryl stated as the two of you took a drink.

"Same here, was practically a weekly thing." You joked causing Daryl and Beth to chuckle softly. "I've never been on vacation." You said a few seconds later causing Beth to stare at you in disbelief before she took a drink, but you noticed Daryl didn't drink either, well at least you weren't the only one.

"What about camping?" Beth asked looking at Daryl, but he shook his head.

"No, that was just somethin' I had to learn to hunt."

"Your dad teach you?" She asked and Daryl just hummed in response as he stared down at the jar in his hand. Yep, you were really getting a bad vibe about his father.

The three of you continued playing the game for a while before you decided to get some sleep while it was still daylight so you'd be able to continue trekking through the woods at night. Daryl and Beth looked at you weirdly for wanting to sleep during the day, but they didn't say anything as you grabbed your sniper and backpack and made your way into the single bedroom at the far end of the house and closed the door behind you.

You hadn't sleep much during the past week and the minute your head hit the pillow you were out like a light. Not even caring about how dirty the bed was as you enjoyed the semi-soft mattress instead of the dirt floor.

It felt like you were only asleep for a few minutes before your heard a chair slam from outside your room and your eyes sprung open. You instinctively reached for the handgun still strapped to your belt before you heard Daryl's voice.

"Oh, wait, it's my turn, right? I've never- never eaten frozen yogurt. Never had a pet pony. Never got nothin' from Santa Claus. Never relied on anyone for protection before. Hell, I don't think I've ever relied on anyone for anything." Daryl stated to yell and you sighed closing your eyes. Maybe this was why he didn't want to drink because he was not a happy drunk.

"Daryl." Beth's voice responded and despite how gentle her voice was she had a stern tone when she spoke.

"Never sung out in front of a big group out in public like everything was fun. Like everything was a big game. I sure as hell never cut my wrists lookin' for attention!" He shouted and you opened your eyes again as you stared at the ceiling. That was a low blow. You kinda figured that was what that scar was from under the her bracelets, but that was a dick move by Daryl saying that.

You laid there listening to them for a while before they suddenly got up and went outside to take care of a walker or something. So you rolled over and went back to sleep, only to be woken up a few minutes later by Beth shouting.

"Daryl, just stop!" She yelled, her voice faint indicating that they were still outside and you groaned, but climbed out of bed. The two of them were probably drunk and wouldn't be thinking straight around walkers. They were gonna get themselves killed.

You quickly walked out the bedroom towards the front door but stopped when you saw the two of them outside.

"No! The Governor rolled right up to our gates. Maybe if I wouldn't have stopped lookin'. Maybe 'cause I gave up, that's on me." Daryl responded, turning away from Beth as he stared at the ground. "And your dad... maybe-maybe I could've done somethin'." He said, his southern accent thick with emotion and you knew the man was fighting back tears as Beth hugged him from behind and that was all it took for Daryl to break down and your heart shattered for him.

You stared at the two of them for a few more seconds before you walked back towards the bedroom to give them some time alone. Daryl probably hated people seeing him cry and you weren't about to invade his privacy like that. Beth seemed to be like a little sister to him, although she clearly wasn't related to him at all, but blood didn't matter.

-

By the time you woke up again a few hours had clearly passed since it was now dark outside. You grabbed your backpack and sniper and made your way out the bedroom and frowned in confusion to find it empty before you heard soft voices coming from outside.

You made your way out the front door to find Daryl and Beth sitting on the porch opposite each other, leaning back against the railing, the two of them looking up at you as you closed the door behind yourself.

"Is it cool if I sit with you?" You asked quietly and Beth smiled brightly at you and nodded. "You're definitely a happy drunk." You commented, smiling back at the young girl as you sat down, leaning your back against the door facing the two of them and laying your sniper across your lap as stared out towards the stars.

"Yeah, I'm lucky. Some people can be real jerks when they drink." Beth replied softly and you nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I'm a dick when I'm drunk." Daryl muttered and you weren't about to argue with that, you heard him yelling earlier although the breakdown part was unexpected, but you were glad that he got it all out instead of bottling up his emotions like he probably usually did, that was what you did and it never ends well, take a look at your wrist for example.

"Merle had this dealer, this lanky little white guy. A tweaker." Daryl began to say out of nowhere, catching your attention.

"One day we were over at his house watching TV, wasn't even noon yet 'n we were all wasted. Merle was high. We were watching this show 'n Merle was talkin' all this dumb stuff 'bout it 'n he wouldn't let up. Merle never could. Turns out it was tweaker's kids' favourite show. So he punches Merle in the face, so I start hittin' tweaker, like hard, as hard as I can. Then he pulls a gun and sticks it right here." Daryl began to explain, using his fingers as a fake gun and points to the side of his head while you and Beth listened. You had no idea who Merle was, but it nice hearing him talk about his past and Beth seemed to be intrigued by the story.

"He says, 'I'm gonna kill ya, bitch.' So Merle pulls his gun on him. Everyone's yellin'. I'm yellin'. I thought I was dead over a dumb cartoon 'bout a talkin' dog." He continued causing you to smile slightly.

"How'd you get out of it?" You asked curiously causing Daryl to glanced over at you, his face lit up by the full moon hovering in the sky above you.

"The tweaker punched me in the gut. I puked. They both started laughin' and forgot all 'bout it." Daryl answered before he began to fiddled with his knife that was already sticking out from the wooden rail beside him.

"Ya wanna know what I was before all this? I was just driftin' around with Merle, doing whatever he said we were gonna be doin' that day. I was nobody. Nothin'. Some redneck asshole and an even bigger asshole for a brother." He muttered, looking over at Beth for a second before he continued fiddling with the knife.

"Least you weren't wanted by every cop and law enforcement in the country." You commented softly, staring down at your fathers old sniper rifle in your lap.

"How'd ya start doing what you did? Daryl was telling me earlier that you were some kind of assassin before all this, but said you only killed bad guys. Why? What made you decide that's how you wanted to live your life?" Beth asked and she didn't seem judgemental as she asked, if anything she seemed curious and you glanced over at Daryl noticing he was looking at you too waiting for you to answer.

"My father was an assassin before I was born, he had this book full of names of bad guys that he'd go through, like a hit-list and after he died, I took over. I finished his list and began adding names of my own to it. I wanted those who did evil to others- the killers, the rapists, psychos, sadists, all of them, I wanted them to have to sleep with one eye open every night in fear that I was coming for them, in hope to try get them to think twice before hurting other people." You tried to explain, but it was hard to put into words especially since this was the first real conversation you've had with someone for years.

"Don't know if it made 'em think twice, but ya definitely had the assholes in my town scared that you'd come knockin' one day." Daryl replied, glancing over at you with a hint of a smile and you couldn't help but smile back at what he just said.

"Good." You responded, leaning your head back against the door behind you as you stared up at the stars. None of you said anything for a few minutes before Daryl announced that he needed to pee and wandered off towards the woods leaving you and Beth sitting quietly together.

"Here, you could probably use some water after all that moonshine." You said, grabbing a water bottle from your backpack as you held it out towards Beth who smiled and reached for the bottle, the bracelets on her left wrist moving down slightly exposing that singular thick scar across her wrist. You didn't get long to look at the scar as Beth quickly grabbed the bottle and pushed her bracelets back up to cover it as she lowered her head and stared at the water bottle in her hands.

"It's okay, you don't have to cover it." You said gently, looking over at the young girl as she lifted her head her and stared at you in shock.

"You're not going to yell at me for it or something?" She asked, looking down in shame, but you shook your head.

"Most people don't know how to react to self-harm so they just chew you out about it. But, I'm not most people." You responded, as you subconsciously grabbed your wrist, rubbing your thumb over the cuts and scars that were underneath the sleeve. "Did you do it for the pain or do it to try kill yourself?"

"I thought I wanted to die... it was after my mother turned and nearly killed me. I thought I didn't want to live, but once I cut myself and saw all the blood, the pain, my sister screaming and crying... I realised that I did. I wanted to live." Beth answered truthfully as she kept staring down at the water bottle in her hands.

"Well, I'm glad you figured it out." You replied and you meant it. She was a bright young girl and despite how bad the world has turned, she still had so much to live for.

"Have you figured it out yet?" She asked a few seconds later, causing your head to snap around to her in confusion before she pointed towards your wrist. "You were rubbing it when you were talking before, it takes one to know one I guess." She explained and you chuckled shaking your head. She was smarter than she looked.

"I'm still trying to figure it out, kid." You admitted, letting go of your wrist as you stared back up at the stars. You didn't want to kill yourself, you didn't have the guts to do it anyway, but you wouldn't be mad if someone did it for you. Hell, you deserved it. The shit you had done, all the people you had killed, you didn't deserve to live and you knew that.

"Have you tried to do what I did?" Beth asked curiously and you shrugged your shoulders.

"I've done what you did too many times to count, but I didn't do it to kill myself... I did it for the pain, I like the pain." You answered truthfully and Beth didn't say anything for a few seconds as she took in what you just said.

"I had a friend at school who used to do that and she said her therapist gave her a coloured pen to keep with her and every time she felt the urge to cut she'd just start drawing over her wrist instead. It took her a while, but the last time I saw her she was five months clean." Beth explained with a small smile as she stared at you. "I have a sharpie in my bag if you want it?" She suggested and you appreciated her trying to help you, but deep down you didn't want to stop. You liked the pain and even if you wanted to stop you were probably too far gone anyway.

"Thanks, but I'm good. I should probably get going anyway." You replied, not waiting for the girl to reply as you stood up and slung your backpack onto your back and grabbed your sniper from the ground.

"Where ya goin'?" Daryl's voice suddenly asked and you looked to the left to find him walking around the side of the building eyeing you carefully. How much of that conversation did he actually hear?

"A group of biker wannabes robbed me about a week ago, I was trying to find them when I came across you guys." You explained, glancing between the two of them as Daryl walked back up the steps onto the porch.

"You don't have to go. This is your cabin anyway." Beth replied, but you shook your head. They were better off without you and you weren't about to let that group of assholes get away with robbing you.

"Do what you want with the cabin, there's more food and more moonshine in the garage too, so go nuts." You informed, throwing your sniper over your shoulder as you began to walk down the steps of the porch.

"Hey, ya don't gotta go." Daryl called out from behind you and you glanced over your shoulder to find both him and Beth now standing on top of the steps watching you.

"I'm not someone you want to hang around with, trust me. It was nice to meet you guys though." You said, sending both of them a friendly smile before you continued walking towards the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, second chapter is finally up and yes we’re leaving Daryl again, but i promise we will be seeing him again very soon. I hope you guys are enjoying this fic and i would love to hear your thoughts about it in the comments below.
> 
> Anyway, until next time, stay safe everyone and i hope you have a great day xx 


	3. Chapter 3

  
You had been tracking the group of biker wannabes for a few days now and you knew you were close. You used to be able to track down a man within 24 hours with the use of the internet and other technology, but these days it was a bit harder. But, you had found their old camp in a garage earlier and you knew you were getting closer.

It was now dark, but that didn't stop you from tracking. The moon was full and bright, lighting up the ground and trees around you as you trekked through the woods, your hand resting over your holster on your belt for safety as you continued to walk.

"You screwed up, asshole. You hear me? You screwed up." An all too familiar voice shouted through the woods and your face broke out into a grin. It was them.

You quickly jogged silently through the woods in the direction of the mans voice, trying not to step on any branches, until you spotted a group of people standing and sitting in the middle of the road. You instinctively dropped to a crouch as you studied the group, but you couldn't see much from the distance and the darkness wasn't exactly helping.

You pulled your sniper rifle from your back and stood up beside the nearest tree as you lent your arm against the trunk of the tree and rested the sniper rifle over your forearm to steady it as you looked through the scope towards the group. It was definitely them.

There were five of them, but also another three people that you hadn't seen before. A man and a woman sitting on the ground while the biker wannabes held guns in their direction. You could see a young boy sitting inside the broken down car beside them all too. For some reason those three people seemed familiar, but you couldn't figure out why. Well, looks like you weren't the only one these biker wannabes liked to steal from.

"Now, who's gonna count down the ball dropper with me, huh? Nine Mississippi. Eight Mississippi." The leader began to say, holding a handgun to the mans head who was sitting on the ground. Shit, they weren't just going to rob these people, they were going to kill them.

You quickly pushed the bolt forward on your sniper, loading a bullet into the chamber as you began to line up the leaders head with the cross-hairs through your scope, but before you had a chance to pull the trigger someone else spoke up. You frowned recognising the voice, but you couldn't figure out who it belonged to before a man stepped towards the group from around the side of the car.

"Joe. Hold up." The man quickly said and your jaw dropped. Well shit, you couldn't mistake that angle winged vest and long dark hair for anyone else. How do you keep running into this guy?

"You're stopping me on eight, Daryl." The leader- Joe- responded, sounding annoyed as he stared at the man you were slowly starting to grow attached to. Shit, you left Daryl and Beth because you didn't want to get too attached to them and now he appears again. Wait, what happened to the girl? Where is she?

"These people, you're gonna let 'em go. These are good people." Daryl said, nodding towards the man and woman sitting on the ground and suddenly it clicked. They were part of Daryl's old group, they were part of that community in the prison. No wonder the three of them seemed familiar, you had probably seen them when you sussed the prison out all those months ago.

"Now, I think Lou would disagree with you on that. I'll, of course have to speak for him and all because your friend here strangled him in a bathroom." Joe said looking back down at the man he had a gun to. You had no idea who this Lou person was or why Daryl's friend strangled him, but he was Daryl's friend and that was good enough for you.

"Ya want blood, I get it. Take it from me, man. C'mon." Daryl responded, dropping his crossbow to the ground as he held his arms out towards Joe. What the hell is doing?

"This man killed our friend. You say he's good people. See, no, that right there is a lie. It's a lie." Joe yelled and you watched in shock as two of the men closest to Daryl punch him in the stomach and began to beat him.

Without hesitation you quickly aimed at one of the men on Daryl and squeezed the trigger, your gunshot ripping through the still night air as the bad guy to Daryl's left dropped to the ground with a bullet through his eye.

Everyone froze in shock as they stared at the man dead on the ground and you used their distraction to your advantage as you pulled the bolt back on your sniper and killed the other man beside Daryl.

The second shot seemed to kick the biker wannabes into action as two of them quickly aimed their guns in the direction of where they thought the gunshot came from. But, they were aiming way to far to the left since the woods let your gunshots echo, making it next to impossible to pinpoint where you were.

Joe still had his gun aimed at Daryl's friends head and you hoped like hell he could take care of himself for the time being as you focused on the other two men, one still standing by the car door where the boy was sitting inside. The man's gun was raised and scanning the woods trying to find you as you lined him up and pulled the trigger just as another gunshot filled the air that definitely wasn't from you.

You quickly killed the other man standing by the car before you aimed your gun towards Joe who was literally hugging Daryl's friend to pin the man down to stop him from throwing any punches, but also using him as a human shield, because you couldn't get a clean shot.

You kept the cross-hair hovering over their heads, waiting for Daryl's friend to somehow get clear and out the way, but turns out you didn't need to as you watched him bite into Joe's throat. Blood sprayed everywhere as Joe dropped to the ground and you watched as Daryl's friend spat the blood from his mouth as he stared at the man he had just killed. He was clearly shocked with what he just did before his brain must have clicked to the fact that there was someone with a sniper in the woods as he pulled out his handgun and began scanning the woods.

Taking that as you sign to come out, you slung your sniper over your shoulder and began walking out from the woods towards the group of them. The boy was now out of the car with the woman hugging him while Daryl lent against the bonnet of the car, trying to catch his breath from the couple punches he copped earlier.

You walked onto the road, catching the mans attention as he raised his gun in your direction and you instantly held your arms up slightly to try and show that you weren't a threat.

"Rick. She's good." Daryl's voice called out and you glanced towards him to find him taking a few steps towards Rick who's eyes were completely focused on you as you began to walk over to Joe's body. You crouched down beside his body and opened the mans denim vest as you reached into the pocket inside his vest and grinned when you felt your sniper silencer inside.

"What are ya doin', woman?" Daryl questioned and you looked up towards Daryl who was now standing beside Rick who you noted no longer had his gun aimed at you. Both of them watched you curiously as you held the silencer in your hand towards them so they could see.

"Looking for this. There weren't a lot of silencers made for this 50 calibre sniper and these assholes stole it from me a few weeks ago." You responded, a hint of anger in your voice as you glanced back down to the mans body before standing up and tucking the silencer into the pocket of your jacket as you held your hand out towards Rick. "I'm Y/N by the way."

"Rick Grimes. Why'd you help us?" Rick asked, shaking your hand with a slight nod before you froze. Rick Grimes. You knew that name. Why did you know that name?

You stared at Rick for a few seconds because you were almost certain that you had never met him before, but then it hit you. Deputy Grimes from King County. Holy shit, you didn't even recognise him with the beard and blood covering his face, but it was definitely him and he clearly didn't recognise you, which was probably for the best.

**_*Five Years Ago*_ **

_You had been camped in a tree on the outskirts of the woods just behind a small rundown house were you knew_ _Tyler Reed_ _was hiding inside. He was the last name on your fathers hit-list and he clearly knew you were coming for him because he had boarded up all his windows and hadn't stepped foot outside the house all day_ _. But,_ _you knew sooner or later he was_ _going_ _have to_ _leave the house_ _and that was when he'd meet his fate with a bullet through the eye._

_You had looked the man up and found out that he had a long police record that consisted of rape, attempted murder and armed robbery, just to name a few. The man was wanted by the police, but you had figured out where he was hiding before any FBI Agent did and you were going to take him down instead of letting him get sent to jail to only be released in less than 10 years._

_The justice system was such bullshit. In your opinion they should bring back the death penalty because mass murders who go out and intentionally kill innocent people, who massacre innocent men, women, children, then they should be shot and killed too. But not everyone agreed with that._

_Police sirens suddenly echoed through the cool morning air, snapping you away from your thoughts as you watched a police car pull up in front of_ _Tyler's_ _house. Shit, they found him too._

_You weren't sure what to do as you watched two deputy's climb out the car. One began to make his way around the back of the house while the other stayed by the front door and you knew they were going to infiltrate the house through the front and back door to try and limit_ _Tyler's_ _exits._

_Shit, they were going to get themselves killed. This man knew you were coming for him. He'll be ready for any kind of attack and these officers were about to walk into one hell of a shock._

_You quickly jumped out the tree your were sitting in, throwing your sniper over your shoulder as you pulled up the black bandanna you had tied around your neck_ _. You_ _lifted it up over your nose to cover your face before pulling the hood of your black jumper up, covering your Y/H/L Y/H/C hair._

_You watched as the officer by the back door said something through his radio before he kicked the door open and walked in, his gun raised. You quickly ran towards the house, knowing what_ _Tyler was_ _capable of and the officers were no match for him alone._

_The second you stepped inside you spotted the deputy on the ground, a knife sticking out of his thigh as_ _Tyler_ _stood above him with a shotgun aimed at the injured mans head_ _and_ _without hesitation you pulled out your handgun and pulled the trigger._

_Tyler_ _fell to the ground dead, a bullet through his eye, but your attention was quickly turned back towards the deputy when he let out a loud groan and you realised the dumbass had pulled the knife out as blood began to quickly pour from the wound on his thigh._

_"You idiot. That knife_ _probably_ _cut through your femoral artery. You shouldn't have pulled it out!" You shouted, holstering your handgun as you grabbed a towel from the table beside you and quickly rushed to the mans side._

_You dropped to your knees beside him as you held the towel against the wound with one hand and quickly pulled your belt off with the other_ _. You_ _tied_ _your belt_ _around his thigh just above the wound to try_ _slow the blood_ _before pressing both your hands against the towel over_ _the wound_ _that was already_ _stained_ _with blood._

_"Shit, you're the Shadow Assassin." The man commented, completely ignoring the fact that he had just been stabbed as he stared at you like he was seeing a ghost. You glanced down at the mans name tag over his chest that read 'Deputy Walsh' before turning your attention back to the wound on the man's thigh._

_"Yep and you boys just showed up and ruined my plan of taking this asshole out silently, didn't you?" You responded sarcastically. You didn't have a problem with police officers, they were just trying to keep people safe and do their jobs, but you knew they hated you, which was fair enough._

_You released one hand from the wound as you grabbed the mans walkie talkie strapped to his uniform as he stared at you in confusion before you bought it to your mouth._

_"Officer down. 32 Hinmarsh Road, King County. We need an ambulance, he's been stabbed." You called out through the_ _radio_ _before dropping it to the ground and putting more pressure on the wound as Deputy Walsh stared at you in surprise._

_"Let go of my partner and put your hands in the air!" Another man shouted and you figured he must have been the officer that went through the front door. About damn time he showed up to help. "Get away from him or I will shoot. I know who you are, I know how many people you've killed. You're wanted in every state and have a longer murder record than I can count, so I won't ask again. Let him go or I'll shoot."_

_You glanced over your shoulder towards the man who was standing on the other side of the room with his_ _pistol_ _raised in your direction. You mentally took note of his name tag that read 'Deputy Grimes' before you focused back on the mans face trying to figure out if he was a good cop or a dirty one, shit it was hard to tell._

_"Go ahead, shoot me if you want. But, you shoot me then my hands move away from your partners stab wound and if I do that he'll bleed out in less than a minute." You stated calmly, keeping pressure on the mans thigh as you kept your eyes locked with Deputy Grimes' before he glanced down towards his buddy._

_"Shane?" He asked, clearly not trusting your word._

_"She's not kidding, Rick. That asshole over there got me good, hit an artery." Deputy Walsh answered, nodding towards the dead man behind you_ _somewhere, but your attention was purely focused on Grimes who still had his gun aimed at you._

_"Shit." Deputy Grimes muttered under his breath, glancing down at your hands over the bloodied towel on his partners thigh._

_"Yeah, 'shit'. Now come over here and slowly replace my hands so you can keep pressure on the wound while I leave." You instructed, nodding down towards your hands before looking back towards Deputy Grimes who shook his head._

_"I can't let you leave. You're under arrest, whatever your name is, you're under arrest for multiple murders." Deputy Grimes responded, his gun still raised in your direction as he spoke._

_"I'm leaving, so you do what you gotta do, but I'm trying to save your partners life. If you want to help, then come over here and keep pressure on his wound until the ambulance comes." You ordered, staring at the man and to your surprise he actually_ _holstered_ _his gun and called for backup over his radio before he walked over to the two of you._

_You watched as he knelt down beside you as you grabbed one of his hands and pressed it against the bloodied towel before his other hand slowly replaced yours._

_"That's it, keep pressure on the wound. Deputy Walsh, I'm sorry this happened to you, but you're going to be fine." You reassured, glancing down at the man who was laying on his back and he nodded weakly at you before you stood up, adjusting the bandanna over your face as you began to walk off towards the backdoor._

_You barely got a couple feet before the sound of a gun cocking filled the air and you chuckled, shaking your head._ _You turned around to find Deputy Grimes still sitting beside his partner, one hand against the bloodied towel, the other holding his pistol that was aimed directly at you._

_"You do what you gotta do, Deputy." You simply said, staring at the two of them for a few seconds, emergency sirens whaling in the distance before you turned around and walked out the back door, but he never pulled the trigger._

"Why'd you help us?" Rick repeated and you realised you had just been staring at the man for a little too long. Shit, how did you not pick it was him earlier? Sure, he now had a beard, his hair was slightly longer and he wasn't in uniform. But, he still had that same pistol and definitely had the same voice.

"I know your friend over there, knew he wasn't a bad guy so I assumed the rest of you weren't. Plus, these biker wannabe assholes stole from me a few weeks ago." You answered, watching Rick cautiously because he clearly didn't recognise you. He had no idea what you looked like that day because of your hoodie and bandanna over your face, but he still would've heard your voice.

"You two know each other?" Rick asked in confusion, glancing back towards Daryl.

"Rick, Daryl, who's this?" The woman questioned from somewhere behind them as Rick held his arm out and you watched as the young boy hugged him and you smiled. That was definitely his kid.

"Kinda. She's that sniper that's saved me, Glenn 'n Maggie a few times. She's good, I trust her." Daryl replied and you looked away from Rick for the first time as you focused on Daryl only just noticing the bruise already forming over his right eye.

"Thank you for helping us, I'm Michonne and this is Carl." The woman- Michonne- said and you nodded, smiling sweetly at the young boy still in Ricks arms as he smiled back.

"We should try and get some sleep, keep moving in the morning." Rick declared a moment later.

"What about her? Is she staying with us?" Michonne asked as you glanced between the two of them not really sure if you should stay or not. You were better off alone.

"I vouch her. Hell, I'd be dead four times by now if it wasn't for her." Daryl responded, glancing over at you before turning his attention back to his friends.

"I don't have a problem with her staying with us, I just have a few questions for you." Rick said, looking towards you as you adjusted the strap of your sniper over your shoulder and nodded for him to continue. "How many walkers have you killed?"

"Too many to count." You answered honestly, staring at Rick who nodded.

"How many people have you killed?" He asked and you froze. Wait, maybe he did recognise you... No, he seemed way to calm and relaxed, he had no idea who you were, but how were you meant to answer that question?

"A lot."

"Why?" He asked, but he sounded more curious than anything as you stared at him before glancing over at Daryl who shook his head ever so slightly and you knew what he was trying to silently tell you. He didn't want you to tell Rick who you were, which meant he probably knew that Rick used to be a cop.

"They were all bad people, they deserved it." You answered, which wasn't a lie. Every person you had killed both before and after the world went to shit were bad people, you'd never kill an innocent person.

Rick stared at you for a few seconds and you thought that he might have finally figured it out, but to your relief he just nodded and then told you about their plan to go to a safe haven called Terminus and despite every bone in your body telling you to leave and go off on your own, you stayed.

Rick was a cop, you were a criminal, an assassin, a murderer in his eyes and you were getting too attached to Daryl, you didn't want to get attached to anyone, it's easier being alone. You've been alone for most of your life, it was all you knew. But, for some reason you just couldn't walk away from Daryl again, he had offered for you to join his group all those months ago when you first met him and then he asked you to stay a few days ago in that cabin with Beth and you refused, but now you just couldn't say no, not anymore.

You and Daryl stayed up on watched for the first part of the night while Rick, Michonne and Carl slept in the car. Daryl told you about what happened with Beth, how she was taken in some black car and was just gone and how he ended up with the biker wannabes. He told you a bit about Rick, Michonne and Carl and said that they were good people, that you could trust them.

"Rick used to be a cop though, he's a good man, but I wouldn't bring up your past with him. Don't know how he'd react." Daryl whispered, glancing over at the car where the three of them were sleeping while the two of you lent against a couple trees nearby to keep watch.

"I know. I've come across Deputy Grimes before the world went to hell. He tried arresting me, threatened to shoot me. But, he doesn't recognise me now." You replied quietly causing Daryl's head to snap around in your direction in shock and you shrugged your shoulders. "It's a long story, but if he asks about my past or anything, I won't lie to him. I don't like lying to people."

Daryl didn't say anything for a while as the two of you stood against the trees, your eyes scanning the road around the car for any signs of movements. You were getting the sense that Daryl was a quiet person by nature, that he wasn't much of a talker and you liked that about him. Not many people could appreciate silence, but Daryl didn't seem to mind as he chewed the tip of his thumb nail.

"Ya said earlier that ya had a book of names, a hit-list. Ya still got the book?" He asked curiously and you chuckled at how random that was, but nodded as you unzipped your camouflage jacket slightly and pulled out the small leather covered book you had in your inner jacket pocket.

"The names written in capitals was what my father wrote, the others I added in over the years, but never got around to finishing the list before the dead started to rise." You explained handing him the small book as he took it curiously and opened it.

You watched as he stared at all the crossed out names in shock, clearly not expecting there to be so many names, but he didn't seem to judge you for it as his eyes scanned the pages until he froze staring at one name in particular.

You couldn't quite see what name he was looking at since there were lots on the page he was currently stuck on, but he clearly recognised a name. Shit, did you kill someone he knew? You weren't going to apologise for killing whoever it was because they were all bad men and deserved nothing less, but the thought of killing someone Daryl knew, the thought of Daryl suddenly hating you... Shit, you really were falling for this archer.

"How'd ya get this name?" Daryl questioned seriously, his body going stiff as he pointed to one of the names on the page and you lent over to him to see what name he was talking about and you nearly sighed with relief realising it was a name that you hadn't crossed out yet.

"Will Dixon?" You asked, looking away from the book at Daryl who just nodded with an unreadable expression as you thought back to the day you wrote his name down. "It was a few months before all this started. Some guy named Jesse Dixon tracked me down, said he needed me to take out his out his brother, Will. Apparently Will was an alcoholic who used to beat his wife and his kids back in the day-" You began to explain before Daryl cut you off.

"Ain't no 'apparently' 'bout it." Daryl muttered causing you to look over at him in confusion and he sighed meeting your eyes. "Will Dixon was my father, piece of shit died from a walker during the start of all of this."

"I'm sorry." You replied, not really knowing what else to say as you tried to process the fact that Daryl's asshole of a father was on your list and you didn't even kill him.

"I ain't, he deserved it."

"I'm not sorry that he's dead. I'm sorry that I couldn't make it happen earlier." You responded and you noticed the corners of Daryl's lips twitch up in a slight smile at what you just said. "Wow, it's a small world."

"Mmm." Daryl hummed in agreement as he handed the book to you and you tucked it back in your jacket pocket while you sat together in comfortable silence keeping watch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally another chapter up! It’s currently 3:30am here in Australia and I’m trying to stay up as late as possible because i start night shift tomorrow night and need to get my body adjusted for it, so i hope you all enjoy this early chapter.
> 
> Anyway, I would love to hear your thoughts about this fic in the comments below, but until next time stay safe everyone and have a great day xx


	4. Chapter 4

"It's not on you, Daryl. Hey. It's not on you. You being back with us here, now, that's everything. You're my brother." You heard Rick's voice say as you slowly opened your eyes and pulled your hoodie off, squinting at the bright sunlight before your eyes finally adjusted. You spotted Rick and Daryl sitting against the side of the car. Rick trying to wipe the blood from his face with Daryl's red rag as they talked quietly.

Eventually Michonne and Carl woke up and the five of you began to follow an old train track in the direction of Terminus. You had no idea what this Terminus place was, but Rick seemed to think that it might be a safe haven and although that sounded too good to be true, you stayed quiet and followed the group.

"That's a cool gun. Where'd you learn to shoot it?" Carl asked, breaking the silence as you glanced to your right to find the young boy looking at the sniper on your back as you continued walking. Rick glanced over his shoulder towards the two of you before he went back to talking quietly with Michonne while Daryl walked beside you.

"My dad taught me when I was about your age. That's a pretty powerful handgun you got there, kiddo. Did your dad teach you how to shoot too?" You asked, nodding towards the Glock he had holstered to his belt causing Carl to smile happily and nod, but he didn't have a chance to say anything before Rick and Michonne stopped walking and stared at a fallen down sign that clearly said 'Terminus'.

"We're gettin' close. Be there before sundown." Daryl stated, staring at the sign on the ground.

"Now we head through the woods. We don't know who they are." Rick responded and you nodded in agreement, glad that Rick had some common sense. You just hoped that this place was good, they needed it to be after everything they had lost.

-

It didn't take long before you came across the tall wire fence that circled Terminus. The five of you all spread out along the fence, staying hidden in the woods and kept watch of the community for a while to see what you could see. Rick buried a bag full of weapons, most of which belong to those biker wannabes that you collected before you left camp.

Eventually, Rick gave the all clear and you climbed the fence at the back of the community instead of knocking on the front gate. You kept your sniper over your shoulder while you held your silenced Beretta handgun in front of you as you followed closely behind Daryl.

You reached the closest building and quietly sneaked inside. It was some old warehouse and you spotted a few people standing by a bunch of tables who seemed to be painting and creating maps that lead to Terminus.

"Hello." Rick called out and you rolled your eyes at his way of greeting the group of strangers as you walked into the room and the people by the tables all froze and stared at you in surprise.

"Well, I bet Albert is on perimeter watch. You here to rob us?" A man with brown hair asked as he walked out from around the tables and eyed you all carefully. Rick, you and Carl all holding handguns while Daryl had his crossbow and Michonne had her katana, which was a fucking badass weapon if you do say so yourself.

"No. We wanted to see you before you saw us." Rick answered and the man nodded, seeming to understand your intentions.

"Usually we do this where the tracks meet." The man said as he walked towards the group of you. "Welcome to Terminus. I'm Gareth. Looks like you've been on the road for a good bit." Gareth observed, glancing at the group of you and you didn't like how his eyes hovered over you for a little longer than necessary before he looked back towards Rick as he spoke.

"We have. I'm Rick. That's Carl, Y/N, Daryl, Michonne." Rick introduced and Gareth waved at the group of you, but none of you said anything as your eyes scanned the warehouse, taking mental notes of the windows and doors, not trusting this man in the slightest. Something just felt off, but you had no real reason or evidence of this being a bad idea, so you stayed quiet and let Rick do the talking.

"You're nervous. I get it. We were all the same. We came here for sanctuary. That's what you're here for?" He asked and Rick nodded. "Good. You found it. But first, we need to see everyone's weapons. If you could just lay them down in front of you." Gareth instruction and you quickly glanced over to Rick to your left before looking over at Daryl and Michonne on your right, trying to see what they were going to do. You didn't like the idea of laying down your weapons, but you weren't the leader here, it wasn't your call.

"Alright." Rick replied, nodding towards you as he slowly pulled his handgun from his holster and placed it on the ground. You watched as the others all began to drop their weapons and knives and you looked back towards Rick who was staring at you and you sighed before taking your sniper off your shoulder and gently lying on the ground, along with your handgun and knife.

You watched cautiously as another man named Alex appeared as him and Gareth began to pat down Rick, Daryl and Carl before they seemed satisfied that none of them were hiding anything and handed your weapons back to you. Gareth and Rick continued talking for a while before Gareth left and Alex lead you out the warehouse and into some courtyard type area.

You scanned your surroundings spotting vegetable gardens and some tables and chairs set up under large umbrellas where a few people were sitting down and eating. There was a woman standing behind some old fashioned barbeque cooking up some kind of meat as Alex lead you towards her.

Michonne, Alex and the woman behind the barbeque talked for a while as you continued to scan your surroundings and the people in the area before your eyes landed on a man wearing prison armour. Where the hell did he get prison armour from? The nearest prison in this area was the one Daryl and his group were living in before, how'd this guy get the armour?

You continued looking at the other people and you spotted a woman sitting at one of the tables wearing a poncho that looked a little too much like the one Daryl was wearing the first time you met him. Something wasn't right.

"Hey." You whispered quietly from where you were standing between Rick and Daryl trying to get their attention while Michonne talked to Alex.

"Isn't that your poncho you were wearing one of the times I saved your ass?" You asked, your voice barely above a whisper as you spoke and for a moment you thought that they might have not heard you before they both suddenly tensed in realisation. Okay, they definitely heard you and you were correct, something wasn't right.

You turned back towards Alex as he held out a plate of food towards Rick who began to walk over to him about to grab the plate before he knocked it out Alex's hands and grabbed the man around the chest, holding him in front of him with a gun to his head.

You quickly pulled your sniper out and aimed it towards the other people in the area, some were staring at you guys in panic, but others already had guns trained on you. You focused on the ones with guns, knowing Rick had Alex under control as Daryl, Carl and Michonne did the same with their weapons.

"Where the hell did you get this watch?" Rick questioned and you only just realised that he had pulled out a silver pocket watch from Alex's pocket which you assumed either belonged to Rick or someone he knew.

You turned your attention back to the people with guns before spotted a man on the roof out the corner of your eye with a sniper aimed right at the group of you. Quickly, moved your sights away from the guys on the ground with guns as you aimed at the other sniper, trusting Daryl, Michonne and Carl to have their weapons aimed at the other men.

"You want answers? You want anything else? You get them when you put down the gun." Alex responded, but you kept staring through your scope as you hovered the crosshairs over the other sniper.

"I see your man on the roof with a sniper rifle. How good's his aim? I bet my sniper is better. Where'd you get the watch? Where'd you get the watch?!" Rick yelled and if you weren’t in the middle of a stand off you would have grinned at Rick complementing you because he sure as hell wouldn't be complementing you if he knew who you actually were.

Alex began yelling at his sniper to lower the weapon and not do anything and to your surprise the man listened and lowered the sniper, but like hell you were going to lower yours. Rick asked again about the watch, as you kept your sights on the man on the roof.

"I got it off a dead one. I didn't think he'd need it." Alex tried to say and you didn't even have to look over at Rick to know that he didn't believe a word the man was saying.

"What about the riot gear? The poncho?" You questioned, not bothering to look over at the man as you spoke, keeping your sights on the other sniper.

"Got the riot gear off a dead cop. Found the poncho on a clothesline." Gareth's voice suddenly responded and you quickly turned away from the man on the roof as you aimed your sniper at Gareth who was now standing behind you.

Him and Rick talked for a bit before Gareth raised his hand to signal someone and Rick fired his gun. You quickly looked over at Rick realising he had just killed Alex and you sighed with relief, taking that as your signal to let loose as you raised your sniper in Gareth's direction, but he was already gone.

"Shit." You muttered under your breath before aiming your sights on the others and began to fire. You only managed to take down three of the men before Daryl grabbed your arm and began pulling you away from the gunfire and you realised the four of them were starting to run away.

You quickly joined them as the group of you ran past warehouse, but it became clear that the people weren’t shooting to kill you, they were shooting at the ground by your feet. They were shooting at the ground trying to herd you in whatever direction they wanted you to go in. Shit.

"They're shooting at our feet! They want us to go this way!" You yelled, turning around and firing your sniper at one of the men on the roof who had an AK-47, hitting him right through the eye as his body fell from the roof.

"We don't have a choice! Keep running!" Rick shouted back and you didn't have time to argue before other men appeared on the roof and continued firing in your direction as you turned around and ran after Rick, Daryl, Michonne and Carl.

You didn't get very far before you came face to face with the wire fence that lined the community. Over 10 men with guns appearing on the other side of the fence, all with their guns aimed at the group of you and you quickly came to a stop.Shit.

You glanced around trying to find a way out, but you were trapped between the fence and the building, nothing but an old train car to your left. You were trapped and you were stuck out in the middle of the open. This was not good.

"Drop your weapons! Now!" Gareth shouted and you turned around to find him now standing on the roof behind you, another man beside him with an assault rifle aimed at the group of you. "Now!"

You glanced over at Daryl as he threw one of his crossbow bolts to the ground and dropped his crossbow. Rick, Michonne and Carl did the same and you sighed lowering your sniper to the ground along with your handgun.

"Ringleader, go to your left. The train car, go." Gareth instructed and you glanced towards the train car that had the letter 'A' pained on the side, but Rick didn't move. "You do what we say, the boy goes with you. Anything else, he dies and you end up in there anyway."

Rick glanced over at Carl for a second, giving his son a small nod before he began to walk towards the train car. "Now the archer." He shouted, and you caught Daryl's eye before he began to follow right behind Rick.

"Now the samurai." He said a few seconds later and you took a step towards Carl, grabbing the boys shoulder gently for comfort as he stared over at his dad in panic who was already looking at the two of you. "Stand at the door, ringleader, archer, samurai, in that order."

"My son." Rick shouted, not taking his eyes off Carl as Daryl and Michonne lined up behind him in front of the door to the train car.

"Go, kid." Gareth instructed and Carl glanced up at you with a questioning look and you nodded giving the boy a small encouraging smile as he began to walk towards his dad. "Ringleader, open the door and go in."

"What about Y/N?" Daryl shouted, his eyes locking with yours and you shook your head slightly trying to tell him to shut up. You'll be fine, you didn't want Daryl drawing any attention to himself, especially not for you.

"You'll see the sniper chick soon enough. Now go, don't make us kill the boy." Gareth yelled and with that you watched as Rick climbed the steps to the train car and walked in followed by Daryl, Michonne and Carl before one of Gareth's friends closed the door behind them.

"Not nice to keep a lady waiting, where do you want me to go?" You questioned, turning back towards Gareth on the roof, but you didn't like the grin spreading across his face as he stared at you.

"You aren't no lady, I know exactly who you are. Boys, get her." Gareth instructed and you turned around just in time to find four men walking towards you. Shit, if he knows who you were then whatever he plans on doing to you won't be good.

Without hesitation you punched the first man to your left and watched him stumble back a few steps, but you weren’t quick enough to turn around before another man slammed the butt of his assault rifle into your stomach causing you to drop to your knees with a groan.

Suddenly, the sound of a gun cocking filled the air and you lifted your head to find the man you had punched earlier standing in front of you, one hand over his now broken nose while he held a handgun towards your face in the other.

"Do you want to die, bitch?" He asked, glaring at you as he held his bleeding nose causing you to grin as you stared up at him. "I will fucking end you!" He yelled, his grip tightening around his gun as he spoke.

"You think you can scare me?" You questioned as a small chuckle that was borderline hysterical left your lips before you lent forward until the barrel of his handgun was pressed against your forehead.

"Do it." You challenged,your eyes never leaving his as he stared at you in slight shock, but before he could say or do anything in response something hard hit you in the back of the head. The last thing you registered was the ground rushing towards your face before everything turned black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I know this fic is really different and trust me next chapter gets dark, but there are still sweet fluffy moments in this fic i promise. Anyway, i would love to hear your thoughts about it below.
> 
> Until next time, stay safe everyone and have a great day xx


	5. Chapter 5

The first thing you were aware of when you started to wake up was the thumping pain between your thighs as slowly opened your eyes.

What the hell happened? Where were you? You tried to think back to the last thing you remembered, but everything was just fuzzy. Your entire body ached as you stared up at the tall ceiling of what you assumed was a warehouse and then it hit you; Terminus.

You quickly tried to sit up, but you barely moved a muscle before you realised that your hands were tied together. You looked down realising that your jacket had been removed, leaving you in a freshly ripped tank top as your eyes wandered further down your body spotting your wrists tied together in front of you, exposing all your cuts and scars across your inner arm, but that's not what caught your attention. What caught your attention were your jeans that had been undone and were currently pulled down to your knees and you knew exactly what happened while you unconscious.

You could feel your body starting to shake, your blood turning cold as you thought about what Gareth and his men must have done. No, they couldn't have done that... you kill rapists, you kill them, they don't do that to you. It couldn't have happened, it couldn't have happened to you... you repeated in your head, but by the thumping pain between your thighs, your hands tied and jeans pulled down, you knew it was true.

Tears began to rise in your eyes, but you quickly shook your head. You didn't have time to feel sorry for yourself, you had to get out of here. You could deal with everything once you were out of this hell hole. You had to find Daryl and the others and get the hell out of here, that was all that mattered right now.

You continued to glance around the warehouse looking over at your jacket lying on the ground a few metres away, along with your sniper and handgun, clearly just tossed to the side. But, before you had a chance to even try move yourself towards your weapons what sounded like an electric drill started up and you quickly turned your head to the right spotting two men standing by a bench cutting up what looked to be a human body with some kind of electric saw. What the fuck?

Maybe you were seeing things, someone did hit you over the back of the head, maybe you were just dreaming and imagining this whole thing. This was just crazy. You dropped your head back down on the ground as you stared up at the roof. Your entire body ached, all you wanted to do was go back to sleep and ignore everything that was happening,

"Fuck." You sighed to yourself, closing your eyes for a few seconds to try and get the roof to stop spinning. You were pretty sure that you had a concussion on top of everything else and even if your hands weren't tied together you don't think you'd be able to get up, you just felt so weak. Just the thought of opening your eyes again and facing everything seemed to hard and you knew your body was on the edge of slipping into unconsciousness and the screwed up thing was that you didn't even care.

You weren't sure if you had passed out again or not because you woke up to the sound of peoples muffled groans and screams coming from across the other side of the warehouse. You wanted to open your eyes to see what was going on, you needed to open your eyes in case you were in danger, but your eyelids just felt so heavy you couldn't physically force yourself to open them.

Someone's muffled screamed got louder, it was like they were trying to shout at you through some kind of mouth gag or something, but that was impossible, the only other people in the warehouse were the freaks cutting up the body.

"Oh, is that your girl? My guys had a lot of fun with her. Don't worry, she's not dead, just unconscious." Gareth's voice said from somewhere just behind you as you tried and failed to get your eyes to open. You tried to listen to Gareth's footsteps as he walked past your body, but sudden muffled screams and the sound of a metal baseball bat hitting something filled the air followed by water gushing, making you even more confused. Seriously, what was going on?

"We saw you go into the woods with a bag and come out without it. Had to pull my spotters back before we could go look for it. What was in it? You hid it, right? In case things went bad? Smart. Still, we'll find it. But, it's too dangerous to go out there right now. What was in it? I'm curious. And it was a big bag." Gareth continued to say and you quickly realised that he was either talking to Daryl, Rick, Michonne or Carl since he mentioned the bag that Rick had buried. Shit, they had been watching you, there goes your plan B in case things turned bad, which they very truly have. 

"Let me take you out there. I'll show you." Rick's voice replied and somehow you managed to get your eyes open as you stared up at the ceiling of the warehouse, trying to get your eyes to focus.

"Not gonna happen." Gareth stated as you slowly turned your head in the direction of the voices, but everything was blurry as you stared at what looked to be some kind of metal tub with people on their knees behind it. What the hell?

"There's guns in it. Ak-47, .44 Magnum, automatic weapons, night-scope, there's a compound bow and a machete with a red handle. That's what I'm gonna use to kill you." Rick responded and you blinked a few times as your vision began to clear and you quickly realised that it wasn't just a metal tub with people sitting behind it. It was a god damn blood bath. If the four dead people hanging over one side of it with blood pouring from their necks were any indication. What the hell was this place?

Your eyes scanned over the people by the tub and you instantly recognising the Asian man from the time you saved him and Daryl cornered by walkers in an alley, how'd he get here?

Daryl was on his knees beside him, his mouth gagged with some kind of rag and his crystal blue eyes locked with yours once he realised that you were awake. You didn't want Daryl to see you like this, you didn't want anyone to see you like this, but it was kinda too late for that.

You glanced away from Daryl spotting Rick sitting beside him with the same type of gag that hug loosely around his neck while Gareth sat crouched down in front of him on the other side of the tub as they spoke. You didn't recognise the darker skinned man sitting beside Rick, but you assumed he might be part of their old group since the Asian man was now here.

"Thanks." Gareth chuckled, pulling the gag back over Ricks mouth as he stood up and took a few steps back as you watched the men, only just spotting two of Gareth's men standing behind your friends wearing blood covered aprons, one holding a machete, the other holding a baseball bat. 

Slowly you reached down to your jeans and began to pull them up. Trying to not make any sudden movements so Gareth or his men don't realise you were awake, because if you wanted to try move for your guns that were a few metres away than you needed your pants up so they didn't get in the way.

"You have two hours to get them on the driers. I'm gonna go back to public face. Now's the time we can get messy, but we need to dial it all in by sundown." Gareth instructed, looking over at his men who both nodded in agreement and you watched in panic as the man with the baseball bat walked over to the Asian man and began to line him up. Shit.

You glanced over at your jacket, sniper and handgun a few metres away from as you debated whether or not you could get your body to move over there quick enough to get your gun before Gareth or one of his men saw you, but with you aching body you doubted you could.

Wait. Your pocket pistol. You always kept a backup handgun in your boot, it was only a small CM9 handgun, but it was still a gun. How the hell could you forget about that? Maybe you really did hit your head too hard.

With a quick glance towards Gareth to make sure he wasn't looking your way, you sat yourself up which turned out to be a lot more difficult than you thought as your body ached in protest. But, you ignored it as you reached for your right boot where your concealed gun was kept when sudden gunshots filled the air and you didn't even have time to process the gunshots before a loud explosion erupted from somewhere outside.

The entire warehouse shook, sending you falling back down as gunfire began to erupt from outside. What the hell is going on out there? You glanced over at the others noticing Rick and Daryl had also been knocked to the ground from the explosion.

"Stay here until I know what's happening!" Gareth yelled, snapping your attention away from your friends to find Gareth running straight past you and out the warehouse, completely oblivious to the fact that you were awake.

You turned your head back towards Daryl and the others noticing Gareth's other two men still standing behind them, the machete and baseball bat still in their hands as they stared at each other in confusion, clearly not knowing what to do.

You didn't waste any time as you reached into your right boot and pulled out your small pistol, killing the two men instantly causing Rick and Daryl to both quickly sit up in panic, but immediately relaxed when they saw you sitting across the room with a gun.

Rick began to manoeuvre his way towards the man with a machete so he could cut off the zip-ties that bound his wrists and ankles and you did the same as you slowly moved yourself towards your jacket and weapons on the ground. You quickly used your knife to cut the ties around your wrist and shakily grabbed your jacket and pulled it on to covered up your ripped tank top and the scars and cuts over your left arm.

Carefully you tried to stand yourself up on shaky legs, despite your body screaming at you in protest and you nearly fell over until a strong pair of hands grabbed your shoulders, steadying you.

"Hey, ya okay? Y/N?" Daryl's voice questioned in panic and you looked up to find the man now standing in front of you, his hands still on your shoulders as he stared at you in worry, but you quickly shook your head and took a step back.

"I'm fine, just don't touch me right now." You replied, hating how weak your voice sounded as you stared at the ground, unable to meet his eyes and Daryl immediately dropped his hands from your shoulders. He stared at your for a few seconds, trying to figure out what to do before he grabbed your sniper from the ground and held it towards you and you took with a small nod, grateful that he wasn't going to ask any questions or push the topic.

"They got problems, we got a chance. Y/N, are you alright?" Rick's voice suddenly asked and you turned around to find him and the two other men standing up and grabbing large butcher knives from the benches behind them. 

Rick's eyes glanced over at Daryl beside you before he focused on you, a hint of sympathy flashing across his expression and you knew that they all had figured out what must have happened to you, but you just nodded.

"It sounded like a bomb and you're that sniper that saved me and Daryl." The Asian man spoke up and despite the situation he gave you a friendly smile and introduced himself. "I'm Glenn and this is Bob, but who the hell are these people?" Glenn questioned looking away from you as he pointed towards the two men you just shot who were lying on the ground behind them.

"They ain't people." Daryl muttered angrily as the two of you made your over to the others and you noticed Bob grabbing a knife, about to stab the dead men in the head, but you quickly spoke up.

"Don't. Let them turn." You instructed, glaring at the two bodies and Rick nodded in agreement before the group of you began to walk towards the door to the left to try find a way out of the warehouse.

Rick lead the way, followed by you and Daryl while Glenn and Bob trailed behind. You kept your sniper in your hands in front of you, ready for any of Gareth's men to walk around the corner as you quietly but quickly made your way through the door, but you all came to a halt when you saw what was in the room.

It was like a cool room type area with meat hanging off hooks from the ceiling, but instead of it being cows or pigs it was humans. Gareth and his people had butchered humans, bled them out and cut up the bodies and strung them up like animals, like food. This is what they were going to do to Daryl and the others, probably what they were going to do to you once they finished having fun with you. Fucking animals.

"I knew something wasn't right about this place." You muttered, your grip tightening around the sniper as you glanced around the room, spotting various buckets and benches covered in different types of body parts and you tried to focus your breathing through your mouth and not your nose because it fucking stunk.

"Cross any of these people, you kill them. Don't hesitate. They won't." Rick instructed as the others stopped to upgrade their weapons with whatever took their fancy from the benches in the room, but you stuck with your sniper and knife that was strapped to your belt. That was all you needed.

You followed behind Rick while the others grabbed some weapons, but stopped when you reached a door that lead outside as you both stared through the glass in the middle of the door spotting a bunch of walkers trying to get inside a shipping container. But, it wasn't the same container that Michonne and Carl were in, so that was a relief.

"If we run, we can get by them. They're distracted." Rick explained as the others quickly joined the two of you by the door and you all nodded in agreement as Rick opened the door. You quickly threw your sniper over your shoulder and pulled out your knife as you began to take down the walkers around the shipping container with the others.

Suddenly, Daryl grabbed your arm and pulled you back behind the container as a group of walkers walked around the corner, but his hand gripped your arm tightly around your cuts causing you to wince in pain and Daryl let go in confusion.

"Are ya bit?" He questioned in panic and you quickly shook your head, but he didn't believe you as he grabbed your arm and pulled up your sleeve exposing all your scars and fresh cuts along the inside of your left arm.

Daryl stood there in shock as he stared the cuts before you yanked your arm away and hastily pulled your sleeve back down.

"The restraints cut my arms when I was trying to get out of them before, it's no big deal." You lied, looking away from Daryl to find Rick staring at you with the same expression as Daryl, but to your relief Glenn and Bob began to shout something about Gareth's men shooting at the walkers which seemed to snap Rick and Daryl's attention away from you.

"Wait here." Rick quickly instructed as he ran over to one of the abandon cars by the edge of the building as the others shouted his name, but you knew he was waiting for Gareth's men to walk around the corner before he took them out.

Daryl quickly moved after Rick, not letting his brother do it alone, taking out a walker along the way that nearly snuck up on Rick. You watched as Rick nodded his thanks as Daryl crouched down beside him before the group of Terminus men came around the corner, all of them firing their guns at the walkers.

They were all focused on shooting at the walkers and you knew Rick wanted some guns instead of mallee weapons, so you quickly sheathed your knife and pulled out your sniper from your shoulder and lined up the first Terminus man and pulled the trigger. Within a few seconds they all laid on the ground dead, none of them even getting a chance to fire off a shot at you as you pulled the leaver back and reloaded your sniper while Daryl and Rick quickly grabbed the guns.

"Holy shit, good shooting." Glenn commented from behind you as Rick and Daryl quickly ran back towards you guys by the shipping container and Rick nodded his thanks to you before handing Glenn and Bob a couple guns. 

"We got to double back to where A is and free the others." Rick instructed and none of you argued with him as you took off running, taking out any walkers that got too close as you ran in what you hoped was the right direction to where the 'A' shipping container was.

It didn't take long before you spotted the container, but of course that was where most of the walkers were. You had swapped your sniper for your knife a few minutes ago as you fought back to back with Daryl, Glenn and Bob while Rick opened the door to the shipping container.

"Come on! Fight to the fence!" Rick yelled from behind you and spared a quick glance towards him spotting a whole group of people running the container. You instantly recognised Carl and Michonne and one of the other women seemed kinda familiar, but the rest were all new to you.

"Let's go!" Glenn shouted and you took that as your signal to start running to the fence. You glanced over at Daryl making sure he was okay before the whole group of you began to run towards the fence, taking out the walkers blocking your way.

You watched as the woman in a hat and short pony tails grabbed a dirty blanket from the ground and threw it over the barbed wire fence for the group to climb over. But, you quickly turned away and continued taking out the walkers while the others began to climb over to safety.

Suddenly, gunfire began to erupt from one of the roofs and you quickly swapped back to your sniper, spotting Gareth and a few of his men trying to fire at your group. You raised your sniper and began to line up his men one after the other as you pulled the trigger.

You could sense that walkers were starting to get close now that you were standing still, but you didn't look away from your sniper scope as you continued to take down Gareth's men who were trying and failing to shoot towards your group who were trying to climb the fence. They didn't get to live after what they did and what they had tried to do. You had to kill them.

"Y/N!" Daryl's voice shouted in the distance, but you didn't turn around or respond to him as you focused on taking out his men until there were only a few left.

You moved your sights onto Gareth, hovering the crosshairs over his right eye about the squeeze the trigger when suddenly someone grabbed your shoulder pulling you backwards causing your shot to miss the target completely.

Throwing your sniper over your shoulder you whirled around with your hand raised in a fist about to punch whoever had grabbed you until you came face to face with Daryl and you quickly lowered your hand. Neither of you said anything as you ran back towards the fence where only a ginger haired man was waiting, the others already over the fence.

The ginger haired man was glaring at you and you figured he was probably annoyed with the fact that you were busy shooting instead of climbing the fence like the others, but he should get the fuck over it. You were trying to kill the bastards that took the group hostage and you were covering them while the others were getting to safety. 

"Ya need help?" Daryl asked once the two of you reached the fence, taking out a couple walkers along the way and you shook your head, although it was pretty high fence and you knew you'd struggle, but you didn't want anyone touching you right, not after what just happened.

It took a little longer than you'd like, your body still aching with every movement, but you managed to pull your body up over the fence, spotting the others all standing on the other side. Rick began to reach his hand up towards you to help you down, but you shook your head and jumped down yourself trying to ignore the aching in your body.

Rick looked like he was about to ask if you were okay before his eyes snapped towards someone behind you and for a second you thought that might be Daryl, but then a rough hand gripped your upper arm and just by the touch alone, you knew it wasn't Daryl.

The hand tightened around your arm and the person with more strength than you thought suddenly turned you around and you came face to face with the ginger haired man.

He was still glaring at you, anger and frustration evident through his features as you sized the man up. He definitely had a lot more muscle and out weighted you by a long shot as you looked the man up and down, taking in his dark tank top that was tucked into his almost military style pants and you could instantly tell that this man was a fighter.

"The hell were you doing?! Standing still in the middle of a God damn walker zone and shooting at people on the roof. In case you didn't realise, by not helping and climbing over the fence straight away, you put everyone here in danger especially me since I had to wait for Daryl to get you." The ginger haired man snapped, his hand still gripping your upper arm tightly as you glanced down at his hand before meeting his eyes.

"Abraham." Daryl's voice muttered, taking a step towards the two of you and you could see him out the corner of your eye holding his hand out towards the big man and you weren't sure if this Abraham guy was from their group at the prison or not, but he was really starting to get on your nerves.

"If you want to keep that hand, I suggest you let me go." You warned, standing up straighter as you stared at the man, not going to take no as answer and he must have realised that as his hand moved from your arm. "If you touch me again, it'll be the last thing you ever do." You threatened, keeping your voice stern as you glared at the man before you began to walk off.

"Where are you going?" Rick called out and you glanced over your shoulder to find the whole group watching you in confusion.

"Do you want your bag of guns or not? It's this way." You informed nodding in the direction you were walking and you heard a few of the group mumble something about 'what guns' but Rick and Daryl had already begun to walk after you and the rest of the group quickly followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that just happened.... i warned you guys this is my darkest fic and on a side note, i really love Abraham but in this fic he’s kinda a dick, but i promise it will all be worth it and the next chapter has a sweet moment between Y/N and Daryl, so stay tuned.
> 
> Anyway, until next time stay safe everyone and have a great day xx


	6. Chapter 6

You let Daryl take the lead in tracking through the woods to find the bag of guns since the man was clearly a hunter and knew how to track better than you. If you could put money on it, you'd be willing to bet that the guy was a hunter before all this by his skills and how damn accurate he was with the crossbow when he had it, but now Gareth's men probably have it.

It didn't take long for Daryl to locate the bag as Rick began to dig it up, explaining that you guys were going to go back to the fences and kill them all and you were 100 percent down for that plan, those assholes don't get to live. But of course, Abraham spoke up against the idea and then the others did too, saying that it was over and that they'd all probably die in there anyway.

You backed Rick up trying to convince the group what needed to be done, but it was clear you and the deputy were fighting a losing battle, so he eventually gave up. 

Then some woman with short grey hair came out of nowhere, a few guns and Daryl's crossbow slung over her back. When she first appeared you reached for your handgun, but when Daryl sprinted over to her and hugged her, you lowered your hand.

Later you found out that she was part of their group and she was the cause of those explosions and the walkers. You had to give the woman credit for that, because at first glance she seemed harmless, but she was definitely a badass and possibly saved all your lives earlier.

She apparently had something to show the group, so without another word about Ricks failed plan of going back to Terminus and finishing it, you all followed Carol back through the woods. 

You walked alongside Daryl, although neither of you spoke and you weren't really sure what to make of the silence between the two of you, but you didn't offer up any conversation with the guy either, so you continued to walk in silence.

You listened while Rick explained what happened back at the prison and how someone named the Governor attacked, which now fills in the blanks that you had about how their group ended up on the road. Rick then explained how Abraham, Rosita, Eugene and Tara came into the group and how they weren't part of their original group which was good because maybe Daryl and Rick wouldn't mind too much if you ended up punching that Abraham guy if he stepped out of line again.

The group of you ended walking for nearly an hour before you came across some old cabin and you watched cautiously as a dark skinned man walked out, holding a baby in his arms and you frowned in confusion. 

Without warning Rick and Carl suddenly sprinted towards them as Rick took the baby from the man and cuddled her to his chest as Carl hugged them both and suddenly it clicked. That was Rick's baby. That was the baby that had just been born when you first came across Daryl all those months ago when he was with that other woman – who you now knew was Maggie, also Glenn's wife- looking for baby formula and stuff.

You smiled slightly watching the small family reunion as the woman who you thought was Sasha rushed over to the new man and hugged him and you quickly put two and two together and figured they were probably siblings or something,

Nobody really spoke for a few minutes as you let them have a moment to themselves before Rick announced that you all should get moving because every walker for miles would be heading towards Terminus that you knew was still on fire from the thick black smoke still rising in the distance. For once nobody argued, but you didn't miss Abraham and Rosita talking quietly to themselves at the back of the group, but you didn't have the energy to look too deeply into it. So, you just followed the group through the woods.

The group of you walked for another hour or so, trying to put as much distance as possible from the burning hell hole, but as the sun began to get lower in the sky you knew the group needed to find some place to spend the night. It was too dangerous to be trekking through the woods in the middle of the night and you could really use with some rest.

"Hey, we should find some place to camp for the night." You spoke up, looking over at Rick who was walking a few metres in front of you as he glanced over his shoulder towards you, his eyes scanning the rest of the group who were following before he focused back on you and nodded.

"Y/N's right, there's not much daylight left for today." Rick announced as he stopped walking and you stopped as well, everyone's eyes on him as you scanned your surroundings for any threats while Rick spoke. 

"Here's as good place as any. Sit, rest, have something to eat. We'll set up watch shifts for the night." Rick instructed and that was all the information he needed to say before you walked a few metres way from the group and dropped down to the ground, pulling your sniper off your shoulders and laying it across your lap as you lent back against the tree behind you.

Everyone quickly began to follow your lead, putting their bags on the ground and sitting down themselves as they began to hand out food amongst each other. Daryl went off for a walk, muttering something about going to hunt before he disappeared through the dense woods while Carol and Tyreese went for a walk to try find water.

You lent your head back against the tree as you listened to the others talk quietly amongst themselves. You could feel Glenn and Maggie occasionally glancing over at you, and you figured Glenn must have told her about what happened back at Terminus because of the shocked yet sad look on Maggie's face, but you just ignored them. You didn't want to even think about what happened.

Daryl came back as the sun finally disappeared and by then Rick and the others had already started up a small fire. They had told you to come closer to the group, but you kindly refused and said you were fine where you were.

By the time it was dark, everyone was camped around the small fire, all of them already asleep. Rosita and Tara were both on watch on either ends of your small camp and although you didn't know them very well, you figured they were capable of keeping the camp safe for the first part of the night.

Your attention was turned away from the two women when you heard hushed voices from across the camp causing you to frown because you thought everyone else had already gone to sleep, but that clearly wasn't the case.

Daryl, Rick and Glenn were all huddled together by the campfire talking quietly, but you couldn't hear what they were saying so you lent back against the tree and pulled your hunting knife out from your belt.

You sat there for a while fiddling with your knife as you contemplated what to do. 

You couldn't stop thinking about what happened as you slowly twirled the knife around in your hands, you knew what you wanted to do, but you couldn't exactly start cutting yourself when the group were close by. That would just open up a whole new can of worms, Rick and Daryl had already seen the cuts anyway, but hopefully they had already forgotten about it after everything that has happened in the past 24 hours.

You must have been deep in thought because you didn't even hear someone walking over to you until they sat down beside you causing you to jump in surprise despite the person leaving a respectable distance and not touching you at all as they sat down.

You quickly looked up to find that it was Daryl, but you didn't miss Rick and Glenn both looking in your direction and you knew they had sent Daryl over to talk to you. Great, your only friends in this group are starting to team up against you, typical.

"If they sent you over here to talk to me, I'm fine." You stated, keeping your voice soft, not wanting to wake the others as you continued to fiddle with the knife in your lap, not bothering to look at him as you spoke.

"They don't think ya are, neither do I." Daryl replied quietly and you lifted your head slightly as you glanced over at him to find him already looking at you through his hair. "Rick 'n I saw the cuts on your wrist-" He began to say and you just shook your head with chuckle.

"You guys think I'm going to kill myself?" You questioned, although you were pretty sure you already knew the answer to that as you stared at Daryl who was biting his thumb nail.

"Are ya?" He asked, glancing over at you with an unreadable expression and you just shrugged.

You had thought about it many times, but you were pretty certain that you didn't want to die and even if you did you knew you'd never have the strength to do it yourself, but when your time came than your time came and you wouldn't argue or try stop it. But, you didn't cut yourself because you were trying to kill yourself, you cut yourself because you're fighting so hard to stay alive. You needed the pain, it's the only pain you could control and it made you feel something beside numbness and you craved it.

"I heard ya that night talkin' to Beth. When ya said ya hadn't figured it out yet... just don't do it, alright? Might not seem like it, but I do care 'bout what happens to ya." Daryl muttered once he realised that you weren't going so anything as you continued to fiddle with the knife, but once his words actually registered through your brain you quickly looked over at him in confusion. 

Why would he care about you? Why would your life even matter to him? He barely knew you, the only thing he really knew about you is that you were an assassin before all this and that is not a good thing.

"Why do you care?" You asked, tucking your knife away as you turned towards him slightly, his features lit up slightly from the campfire across the camp.

"Can't help it." Daryl muttered and you stared him trying to figure out what that actually meant as he picked up some kind of bowl from the ground beside him and handed it to you. "Ya need to eat 'n rest." He stated as you grabbed the bowl noticing that it had pieces of squirrel meat that Daryl had hunted earlier.

"I'm not hungry and I doubt I will be sleeping after what happened." You admitted, fiddling with the squirrel in the bowl.

"Ya wanna talk 'bout it?" He asked, but you shook your head and Daryl sighed, leaning back against the tree next to you. "Ya alright though? Ya were limping at Terminus... we don't really have no doctors here but-"

"It's okay, I'll be fine. Just sore." You reassured, noticing how worried Daryl was as you grabbed one of the pieces of meat and held it out towards him. "I'll eat if you share it with me." You said, glancing over at him with a small smile causing Daryl to roll his eyes, but he took the meat and you weren't sure if it was because he was hungry or because he wanted you to eat, but either way you weren't going to complain.

-

You must have fallen asleep sometime after you and Daryl finished the food because the next thing you knew your eyes snapped open as you sat up gasping for breath. 

You couldn't even remember the details of whatever nightmare your brain decided to choose tonight, but you knew it was to do with what happened at Terminus. You were unconscious at the time which was good because you weren't awake when it happened, but at the same time it was bad because now your brain was just constantly thinking about all the things they could have done to you, all the different scenarios that could have taken place and all the what if's and you couldn't shut your brain up.

"Hey, just breathe. You're safe." Someone's voice whispered from beside you, but through the haze in your head you couldn't figure out who the voice belonged to let alone trying to focus on your breathing.

You couldn't breathe. It was like all the air had gotten sucked out of your lungs and there wasn't anything you could do about it. You could feel your chest tightening as you buried your face into your hands, trying to calm yourself down, but it wasn't working.

"Y/N. Hey, hey, just look at me. Look at me." The voice said again and somehow you forced yourself to lift your head and your eyes locked with familiar blue ones that were staring at you in worry, but you just shook your head unable to shut your brain off as all those different scenarios flashed through your mind. 

"Y/N, breathe. Just breath, it's okay." Daryl said calmly, kneeling down in front of you as he took a deep breath in and you mimicked him before he released the breath a few seconds later and you did the same as he repeated the action. 

It took a while, but eventually you managed to get your breathing under control. Daryl still knelt down in front of you worried as you rubbed your face with your hands and lent back against the tree with a sigh.

"Shit, I'm sorry." You whispered, once you got your breath back as you glanced around camp realising that it was still the middle of the night and luckily everyone was still asleep minus Glenn and Bob who were now on watch duty. Shit, Daryl had seen you in that state of panic, you probably woke up with your pathetic panic attack.

"Ain't nothin' to be sorry for. Used to get 'em after my mum died, ya alright?" He asked and you just shrugged your shoulders not wanting to lie to guy, but it surprised you slightly to find out that a tough man like him used to get nightmares and panic attacks, although it made sense since he knew how to calm you down quickly.

"I got knocked out after you got locked in that train car and when I woke up I was lying on that warehouse floor a few minutes before you guys got bought in. I don't even know what happened... okay, I know what happened, but I don't know the extent of it or what else they did, but I know they... shit." You sighed, closing your eyes as you lent your head back against the tree and took in a few deep breaths trying to will the tears to stay obey. The last thing you needed was to start crying in front of Daryl after everything.

Daryl didn't say anything as he moved over and sat back down beside you against the other tree, you could feel him looking at you, but you kept your eyes focused on the woods in front of you. You weren't even sure why you had just told Daryl all of that, but it felt slightly better to say it out loud.

"M'gonna touch your shoulder now, if that's okay?" He asked quietly and you nodded, glancing over at him as he shuffled closer to you before wrapping his arm around your shoulder awkwardly. It was clear he wasn't one for human contact, hell, neither were you. But, he was trying to comfort you and if you were being honest you really needed it.

"Thank you." You whispered and without thinking you rested your head against his body, but before you could pull away, Daryl's arm wrapped around your shoulders tightened slightly as he held you close and you couldn't help the small smile forming on your lips before you closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep.

-

"Y/N? C'mon, girl, time to get up." Daryl's voice said gently before someone began to nudge your shoulder and you slowly opened your eyes, blinking a few times at the sudden daylight before you realised you were still leaning against Daryl's shoulder.

"Morning." You yawned, sitting yourself up straight as Daryl removed his arm from your shoulder. Had he slept like that with you the entire night?

You glanced around at the rest of the camp realising that everyone else seemed to be awake before your eyes landed on Carol who was watching you with an unreadable expression.

"How'd ya sleep?" Daryl asked, bringing your attention back to him to find him now standing up, slinging his crossbow over his shoulder.

"Better than I have in a long time." You answered, following Daryl's lead as you stood up and grabbed your sniper, slinging it over your shoulder.

The two of you walked over to the others, helping them finish packing up the limited gear and food you had left before you continued moving. Rick wasn't entirely sure where you guys were heading, he just wanted to keep moving, still not happy with how close you still were to Terminus.

The group of you walked through the woods for majority of the morning, Daryl and Rick leading the group in the direction of the nearest bitumen road. Although, you weren't entirely sure how they knew which direction the main road was in, but you figured they knew what they were doing. So, you stayed silent, trailing behind at the back of the group to make sure nobody got left behind as your eyes continuously scanned the woods around you, your sniper in your arms ready.

"Help! Help, anybody! Help!" A male voice shouted in the distance causing the entire group to freeze at the sudden unexpected voice. Shit, that wasn't good. You were all for helping people in this new world, but after what happened at Terminus, you were starting to think that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to be around strangers.

"Dad, come on." Carl urged, tugging his fathers jacket to try get Rick to help the shouting voice, but it was clear Rick was a bit sceptical about the whole thing, the whole group seemed sceptical about it too. That voice would be drawing in walkers and if you helped the person he could be bad, but you couldn't just leave a person out there, especially while they were shouting for help.

"Fuck it, the kids right." You declared, throwing your sniper over your shoulder as you walked around the group towards Rick, Daryl and Carl, all of them looking over at you for a split second before reading each others minds as you all sprinted off towards the mans shouts who hadn't stopped yelling since he started.

It only took a few minutes of running before you spotted a man trapped on top of a large boulder with five walkers standing below it trying to reach him. Their rotten hands just scraping against his shoes as he frantically tried to get away from their reach.

You were the first one to reach the man and without hesitation, you grabbed your sniper off your shoulder and slammed the butt of the gun against the first walkers skull. You quickly moved onto the next one, kicking another out the way as Daryl appeared, stabbing the walker you kicked before the others showed up and took down the last of them.

"Why didn't you, oh, I don't know, maybe kick their heads or something?" You questioned, glaring at the man still sitting on top of the boulder as he stared at the group of you in shock. It was clear this guy didn't have any weapons on him, but he could have easily kicked the walkers heads in and be done with it.

"Come on down. You okay?" Rick asked, once the man finally got off the boulder and threw up when he looked at all the walkers on the ground causing you to roll your eyes. He was wearing a priest outfit and threw up at the sight of dead walkers, you'd met five-year-olds tougher than this guy. Hell, Judith was tougher than him.

"Sorry. Yes. Thank you. I'm Gabriel." The man quickly said, turning back towards Rick once he'd emptied the contents of his stomach, indicating that he hadn't been starving which meant he probably had a camp with food.

"Do you have any weapons on you?" Rick questioned, taking a step.

"I have no weapons of any kind. The word of God is the only protection I need." The man answered and you couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped your lips as you stared at the man who was literally crazy. Did he really believe what he just said?

"Sure didn't look like it." Daryl muttered from beside you and you nodded in agreement.

"I called for help. Help came." Gabriel explained and you rolled your eyes again.

"I was wrong, we should've left him to die." You mumbled, causing Rick to send you an annoyed glance, but there wasn't any heat behind it because deep down you knew Rick was probably thinking the same thing.

"Do you have a camp?" Rick questioned.

"I have a church." 

You stepped forward, "Hold your hands above your head." You instructed and the man looked at you in confusion for a second before he complied and you began to pat him down, searching for any hidden weapons.

"How many walkers have you killed?" Rick questioned as you motioned for the man to turn around so you could search the back of him.

"Not any, actually."

"How many people have you killed?" Rick then asked because none of you believed that this man could survive in this new world without killing at least one walker.

"None. The Lord abhors violence." He answered and you shook your head in disbelief as you took a step back, nodding to Rick indicating that the man was clean.

"Whatever, take us to your church." You instructed and the man looked back and forth between you and Rick for a few seconds before he nodded and with that you all began to follow the man through the woods.

Rick never left Gabriel's side, not trusting the man in the slightest and you kept your sniper in your hands as you followed closely behind. The second the guy stepped out of line, he'd be dead within a second.

It didn't take long before a large white church came into view. It was surrounded by the woods minus the small dirt track that must lead to the main road somewhere.

Gabriel said he'd been living in the church alone, but that didn't stop the group of you from sweeping the inside of the church while the others checked outside around the large building, not trusting this stranger in the slightest. But, after a hard search it was clear that the man had been telling the truth about being alone, but still something about Gabriel just didn't sit right with you.

Abraham and the others had found a bus out the back and seemed to think that they could get it running in a couple of days and for some reason he was eager to get back on the road, but Rick seemed to want to stay at the church for a bit and you agreed. You had just found some place semi-safe, why would Abraham want to just up and leave? It wasn't like he had any place to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -
> 
> I swear i say this every time, but sorry for the late update work and life has been so busy and although i am grateful that i’m an ‘essential worker’ and still have my job, sometimes I just wish that i wasn’t an essential worker and had to stay home and not leave the house, i really need a break.
> 
> Anyway, enough about that. I hope you are all still enjoying this fic. Things are about to get interesting as you can probably predict from the show, but not everything will follow the shows story line and i promise it will be worth the wait.
> 
> Until next time, stay safe everyone and have a great day xx


	7. Chapter 7

The group of you unloaded your gear in the church, every claiming various benches for themselves.

You picked the one by the front door, wanting a way out if things turned bad, but also wanting to be the first point of contact for anyone who tries to break into the place.

You doubted that would happen, but with Carl and Judith inside, you wanted to the first line of defence against any bad guys.

Daryl must have been thinking the same thing because threw his bag and the rope of squirrels he had caught earlier onto the bench across the aisle from you.

Rick, Michonne, Sasha, Bob and Gabriel left to go on a supply run to some place that Gabriel said he hadn't cleaned out yet. The priest said it was overrun and by 'overrun' he meant only a dozen or so walkers which Carl could easily take down with a single knife if he wanted to. But, Rick wasn't taking any chances and bought the others with him, along with Gabriel who he still didn't trust and neither did you.

Daryl and Carol had disappeared a while ago while you were cleaning your sniper. Daryl mentioning something about going to find water to you before they both walked out the building.

Not long after Glenn, Maggie and Tara had disappeared out the church as well after looking through the phone book and apparently finding a gun shop that they wanted to check out.

You doubted there'd be any guns or ammunition left in the store, but told the group of them if they found any .50 calibre bullets that you called shotgun on them.

You were starting to run low on rounds for your sniper. There was still the spare magazine strapped to the side of your gun, along with the other two spares strapped to your belt, but the rest had been kept in your backpack that no doubt went up in flames back at Terminus.

It didn't take long before you got bored of sitting inside the church. You stood up and made your way outside, telling Tyreese that you were just going out the back for some fresh air so he knew where you'd be if there was any trouble.

You passed Abraham who was lying under the front of the bus trying to fix it while Rosita passed him whatever tools he needed. You nodded towards the other woman and she smiled with a small nod back as you walked past them around the building.

While the others were out scavenging and getting water, you figured you might as well make yourself useful and double check the perimeter and keep watch, although Rosita and Abraham were outside and could probably keep watch, but you needed something to do.

As you walked along the outside wall of the church, checking the various windows to make sure they were locked and secure.

However, when you reached the second window you froze.

Knife marks.

Someone had tried to get inside, using their knife to scratch away at the wood and paint, but it clearly didn't work since the window was still secure.

You stared at the knife marks for a few seconds before you continued walking to see if the other windows had them too. Suddenly, you spotted something carved into one of the wooden planks of the Church and you frowned.

'YOU'LL BURN FOR THIS' Had been carved through the white paint of the church, clearly by a knife by how deep and boxed the letters were. You did not like this, not one little bit. Gabriel was definitely hiding something and by the look of it, it was something bad.

After another sweep of the outside of the building, it was clear that those were the only markings on the outside and you weren't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

You stayed outside by the window, staring at the knife grooves as you tried to wrack your brain for any reasonable answers.

"Hey, Tyreese said you were out back. Come on in, you don't need to distance yourself from the group. You've earned your place, Y/N." Rick's voice suddenly called out.

You glanced to your right spotting the former Deputy walking over to you and you smiled kindly at him. You were relieved that he'd excepted you into the group, but if he knew who you really were than you were almost certain that he would kill you.

"I appreciate that, but I need to show you something." You said, pointing towards the window as Rick reached your side and followed to where you were pointing and you could see his body tense when he spotted the marks. "The scratches are too deep, they have to be from knives which meant someone was trying to get in."

"Shit." Rick sighed, running his fingers over the grooves before you nodded for him to follow you and walked around the corner and pointed towards the sentence scratched into the wall.

"I could be wrong, but I think Gabriel was trying to keep someone out. Now, the question is; who and why?" You asked and Rick turned towards you with an unreadable expression before looking back at the writing.

"We keep this to ourselves for the time being, I still don't trust the guy and this is not helping his case." Rick responded and you nodded in agreement before the two of you went back inside.

-

That night the inside of the church was lit up by candles as you all sat around together eating the canned food that Rick and the others had gotten from the supply run. As well as Daryl's squirrels and a glass of wine from Gabriel who you were shocked actually let you guys drink the church wine.

You sat on the ground between Daryl and Carol, most the others spread out across the carpet around the front of the church. A few were seated on some of the benches as you all talked and laughed together.

It was probably the first place you had actually felt safe in since all this started. You couldn't remember the last time you sat back had a drink and laughed like you were now as Carl told you and Daryl about the time Rick broke the kitchen sink when he was a kid.

"I'd like to propose a toast." Abraham suddenly announced, tapping his glass of wine with a fork and everyone instantly stopped talking as you all looked over at the man who was now standing up and glancing around at everyone.

"I look around this room and I see survivors. Each and every one of you has earned that title. To the survivors." He called out, holding his glass in the air.

"Survivors." You all cheered, holding your glasses up before taking another sip as others tapped their glasses together before Abraham continued talking.

"Is that all you want to be? Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat? 'Cause you can do that. I mean, you got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender. Now, we get Eugene to Washington and he will make the dead die and the living will have this world again. And that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip." Abraham said and you just stared at him in confusion as you tried to figure out what the hell the bigger man was trying to say, but you couldn't wrap your head around it.

"I'm so confused, what are you trying to say?" You asked, breaking the silence as Abraham looked over at you for a second and seemed to debate what to say next.

"Nobodys informed her yet? Well, I got good news for you. Eugene here, has a cure and we need to get him to Washington." Abraham explained and your eyes widen slightly as you stared at him. A cure? Yeah, I highly doubt that.

"Eugene, what's in DC?" Abraham asked.

"Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics even to this fubar magnitude." The man answered, but you barely understood a word of that as you absently rubbed your wrist out of habit.

"That means food, fuel, refuge. Restart. However this plays out, however long it takes for the reset button to kick in, you can be safe there. Safer than you've been since this whole thing started." Abraham continued, but you just shook your head.

"Bullshit. There isn't any cure, this is the world now." You responded, everyone's eyes flashing over to you as they continued to eat their food, but you didn't miss the way Carol glanced down at your hand that was rubbing your wrist, but you knew she couldn't see anything since your jacket was covering the cuts and scars.

"It's not bullshit, sweetheart. Eugene was part of the Human Genome Project, this is as real as shit gets and we're gonna end it." Abraham replied and you couldn't stop the chuckle that left your lips as you shook your head.

"A. Don't ever call me 'sweetheart' again and b, you don't seriously believe this do you? Rick?" You questioned, turning away from Abraham as you looked over at Rick who was sitting opposite you with Judith in his lap.

Usually Rick was on the same page with you, but when you looked over at him it was clear that this time you two were on entirely different chapters.

"Ain't gonna hurt to try." Daryl muttered quietly from beside you.

You looked away from Rick and over at Daryl who was still sitting beside you and you sighed, but nodded. Whatever. This smelt like total bullshit and way too good to be true, but might as well try.

"Come with us. All of you. Save the world for that little one. Save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there who don't got nothing left to do except survive." Abraham spoke up again, focusing his attention between you and Rick.

Judith suddenly cooed in Rick's arm causing him to chuckle.

"What's that? I think she knows what I'm about to say. She's in. If she's in, I'm in. We're in." Rick responded and the whole group erupted in cheers and high fives and you smiled softly at their excitement before standing up.

"Where are ya goin'?" Daryl quickly asked about to stand up himself before you shook your head.

"Just need some fresh air, sit and enjoy the night. I'll keep watch while I'm outside." You answered and Daryl stared at you sceptically for a few seconds before he nodded.

You picked up your sniper that was leaning against one of the benches before making your way outside.

The moon was shining brightly in the sky as you scanned your surroundings before sitting down against the wall of the church, resting your sniper against the wall beside you.

You didn't want to get your hopes up about a cure. It was too good to be true and you weren't going to let yourself believe it until it happened. You'd be okay if it wasn't true though, this new world may be hard, but it was survival and survival was the only thing you knew, even in the old world.

You sat there for a few minutes with your own thoughts as you pulled out your hunting knife, tilting the blade slightly as the moon light reflected off the stainless steel.

You twirled the blade between your fingers for a while as you debated what to do, but you knew there was only one thing you needed to do. You needed that pain.

Without another thought, you rolled up the sleeve of your left arm and pressed the blade of your knife against your skin.

You slowly draw the blade down, welcoming the sharp pain and line of blood as you moved onto another section of clear skin and repeated the same action.

Suddenly, the front door to the church opened causing you to jump in surprise and accidentally bumping your knife as you sliced deeper into your wrist causing you to wince as blood began to pour from the cut.

"Shit." You cursed softly, pulling out a rag you kept in your jacket pocket.

You quickly tied it around your wrist to try stop the bleeding and cover it from whoever walked out the front door.

"What are you doing out here?" Bob's voice suddenly asked and you looked up to find him walking around the corner towards you. But, you didn't miss how he was limping slightly and you figured he must have hurt himself during the supply run.

"Not much, what are you doing?" You asked, keeping your hand wrapped around your wrist, already feeling the blood starting to seep through the rag.

"I'm going for a walk. I'll be back later." He answered and you nodded, not bothering to ask why he wanted to go for a walk in the middle of the night because you kinda needed him to go away so you could deal with what you just did.

To your relief, Bob began to walk off and once he disappeared through the trees you quickly looked back down at your wrist, wincing at the blood seeping through the rag. Shit, that definitely needs stitches.

"Damnit." You muttered to yourself, rolling your jacket sleeve down as you stood up and walked back towards the front door, knowing Rick had the bag with medical supplies sitting by the door.

You opened the front door and sighed with relief noticing everyone still sitting around the front of the church talking and laughing amongst each other.

You quickly slipped in and went through the bag until you found a needle, thread and bandages. You shoved them into your pockets, glancing over at the group who hadn't even noticed you'd enter the church before you ducked back out.

You sat back down beside your sniper, pulling the items out your pocket and onto your lap as you lifted the sleeve of your jacket up.

Carefully you untied the rag with shaky hands as you stared at the deep gut that was oozing blood.

Quickly you covered the cut back up and got the needle and thread ready. Hating how much your fingers were shaking as you tried and failed multiple times to thread the needle before you finally got it.

"Toughen up, Y/N. It's just a scratch." You muttered to yourself, although it definitely more than just a scratch.

Carefully you pulled the rag back of and began stitching up the cut. You had to constantly wipe the cut to clear the blood so you could see what you were doing, but the blood just seemed to keep reappearing within a second.

It took longer than you'd like to admit, your hands still shaking as you finished the stitches and wrapped a bandage around your wrist.

Not a second layer you heard the front door to the church open.

Seriously? Why can't this group just sit inside for 20 minutes and not come outside? Was that too much to ask?

Quickly, you tucked the medical supplies into your pocket and rolled your sleeve down. You grabbed your sniper and rested it across your lap to make it look like you were keeping watch and not stitching yourself because you were a fucking idiot.

You heard the footsteps coming and glanced up to find Carol walking towards you. Her hands were on her hip as she stared at you, catching you off guard slightly, but with her tight posture and the way she was glaring at you it started to make you feel uneasy.

"What?" You asked, looking at the woman in confusion.

"Y/N, I saw." Carol spoke up, stopping as she stood in front of you and pointed towards your left wrist which was now covered up.

How'd she see? You were pretty certain that nobody saw you go inside, let alone see the blood.

"I hit my arm, it's no big deal, just an accident." You lied, unable to think of anything else to say because your usual response of 'my cat scratched me' doesn't really work in this new world anymore.

"Okay, then why don't you show me where you accidentally cut yourself?" She asked and it wasn't hard to figure out that she saw straight through your lie as you stared at her before shaking your head and looking away.

"It doesn't matter." You muttered, keeping your attention on the woods behind Carol so you didn't have to look at her.

"Bullshit. You're cutting yourself and you don't think it matters? Does it feel good or what?" She questioned and your eyes glanced over at her trying to figure out if she actually wanted you to answer or not. "Just tell me why?"

"I don't know why, it just helps." You sighed, rubbing your face with your hands ignoring the pain that flared through the cut on your wrist as you did so.

Carol didn't say anything for a seconds as she stared at you, clearly contemplating what to say. You were just waiting for her to run back inside to tell Daryl and the others, but to your surprise she didn't.

"I don't know you very well, but Daryl has taken a liking to you. I've never seen him act the way he does around you before. So, whatever's going on between you guys, that's between you guys, I don't care. But, if you ever hurt him, then I will put you into the ground, am I making myself clear?" She questioned sternly and you just nodded.

"Crystal."

"Good." She replied and began walking off back inside leaving you sitting there still trying to process that conversation.

First she grilled you about the cuts, then she gave you the shovel talk for crying out loud and then just went back inside. What the hell?

You sat there for a few more minutes before you heard the church door open and close and you watched in confusion as Carol began to walk off into the woods.

Maybe she was going after Bob? You honestly had no idea nor did you really care at the moment as you rubbed the bandage on your wrist under your jacket sleeve.

Another minute or so passed before the door opened again causing you to roll your eyes because apparently this group didn't like sitting in the safety of the church and wanted to be out wandering the woods during the night.

To your surprise the person didn't go towards the woods, instead you heard the footsteps heading in your direction and you looked up to find Daryl walking towards you.

"Carol needs to mind her own damn business." You mumbled, knowing she must have told Daryl everything when she went back inside, if the concerned yet angry expression on his face indicated anything.

"Show me." He instructed, walking over to you causing you to scoff and shake your head.

"I'm fine, I just cut a little too deep by accident." You answered, crossing your arms over your chest, trying to cover your wrist despite the bandage being covered by your jacket sleeve.

"That ain't fine. Doin' that to begin with ain't fine." Daryl muttered as he stood a few metres in front you, his features lit up by the moonlight as he stared at you.

"I already got an earful from Carol, I don't need to hear it from you."

"Why do ya do it?" He asked, his tone gentler as he spoke, but you just shook your head. If he had to ask that question then he wouldn't get it.

"You wouldn't understand."

Daryl sighed and knelt down beside you, his hand resting on your shoulder as he spoke.

"I don't wanna wake up one mornin' to find that you've killed yourself, Y/N." He said softly and you tilted your head towards him, his hand squeezing your shoulder gently.

"You don't need to. It's not about wanting to die, it's more about wanting to live... I don't expect you to understand, but I'm fine. You should be worried about your friend, Carol. She disappeared into the woods a few minutes ago." You commented, hoping that it would get the his attention away from you which seemed to work because his head quickly snapped towards the woods before he looked back towards you.

"Which way?" He asked.

"She went that way. Bob went for a walk too, she might be looking for him." You suggested and Daryl nodded, standing back up as he began to head in the direction you pointed to.

You were about to stand up to go with him before he spoke up.

"Stay here. I'll be back soon." He instructed and you sighed, wanting to argue, but you just nodded and leant back against the building as you watched him disappear in the direction Carol had gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that happened. Daryl knows about the cuts and Carol knows too and i think you all know whats coming up soon regarding the cops in the hospital. But, next chapter shit hits the fan and it’s not what you’d expect, so stay tuned.
> 
> Until next time, stay safe everyone and have a great day xx


	8. Chapter 8

You ended up sitting outside for another hour, but you were starting to get worried about Daryl, Carol and Bob. They should have been back by now, why weren't they back?

For a second you thought about going off into the woods to look for them yourself, but you figured you should probably go tell Rick and the others first. You didn't want them to start panicking when they realise that half the group was gone.

"Hey, Rick?" You called out, walking through the front door to the church, slinging your sniper over your shoulder as you spotted the man leaning against one the benches talking to Glenn and Maggie, his head instantly turning in your direction when he heard you.

"What's wrong?" He asked, noticing the off tone to your voice and you explained to him how Bob and Carol went out into the woods and how Daryl went to look for them, but none of them were back yet.

Rick didn't bother asking you any further questions before him, Sasha and Tyreese set off in search of the missing people. He instructed you to stay outside on watch, while the others stayed together inside until they figured out what was going on and you weren't going to argue.

You did as Rick asked and slowly paced the front of the church, your sniper in your hands as you scanned the woods hoping that Daryl would just appear, but he never did.

"Y/N." Rick's voice called out 20 minutes later and you spotted the three of them walking out the woods towards you, but there was no sign of Daryl, Carol or Bob. 

"There's someone out there and it's not one of ours. We're being followed and watched." He explained and your eyes went wide with shock because surely you would have noticed that the group was being stalked. Maybe you were getting too comfortable and relaxed with the group and starting to let your guard down. Shit.

"Oh, this has all gotta be connected." You responded in sudden anger, thinking back to the knife carvings you saw earlier on the walls. That Gabriel guy was hiding something and now there was someone stalking you, that couldn't be a coincidence.

Without saying another word, you turned around and walked back into the church. The others were all sitting around on the benches minding their own business and you zeroed in on Gabriel who was standing by the front of the church and you walked right up to him.

"Hey, what are you doing? What aren't you telling us?" You questioned, grabbing the front of the mans shirt as you pushed him backwards until his back hit the wall which caught everyone's attention.

You could feel the others watching from behind you and you were waiting for Rick to tell you to calm down, but he must want to know the answer too and didn't stop you. "I asked you a question. This is all connected. You show up, we're being watched and now three of us are gone. Explain that."

"I-I don't- I don't know have anything to do with this." He stuttered, glancing at the others in panic hoping one of them would help him.

You just shook your head as you pulled out your hunting knife and held it in front of his throat. It took you a second to realise that you never cleaned the knife after you cut yourself and that it still had blood on it, but that was a problem for later.

"Don't!" You heard Rosita yell from somewhere to your left before Abraham grabbed her to stop her from getting to you as you kept your attention on Gabriel.

"Who's out there and where are our people?" You questioned sternly, pressing the blade against his neck, but not hard enough to draw blood. "Why'd you bring us here? You working with someone?"

"Please, I don't have anything to do with this. I'm alone. I was always alone." Gabriel cried, but before you had a chance to respond Rick stepped forward until he was standing beside you, but you didn't move as you held the stranger against the wall.

"What about the woman in the food-bank, Gabriel? What did you do to her? 'You'll burn for this', that was meant for you. Why? What are you gonna burn for, Gabriel? What did you do?!" Rick shouted, grabbing Gabriel by the collar of his shirt and you quickly took a step back to let Rick do whatever he was gonna do and watched as he pushed the man harder against the wall. 

"What did you do?!" Rick shouted again.

Suddenly Gabriel thrashed out of Ricks hold and you quickly sheathed your knife and pulled out your handgun as you aimed at it Gabriel's head, not liking how violent he got before the man lowered his head and began to cry.

"I always lock the doors at night... I always- They started coming, my congregation. Atlanta was bombed the night before and they were scared. They were... they were looking for a safe place where they felt safe and it was so early and the doors were still locked. There were so many of them and they were trying to pry the shutters and banging on the windows, so the dead came for them. Woman, children, entire families calling my name as they were torn apart, begging me for mercy. Damning me to hell." Gabriel explained between sobs as he looked around at the group of you and you lowered you gun, this guy wasn't a threat at all.

"The Lord sent you here to finally punish me. I always lock the doors. I always lock the doors." Gabriel cried, slowly sinking the ground as he sobbed.

"There's someone outside lying in the grass." Glenn's voice suddenly called out and you didn't hesitate as you ran towards the door, Rick calling out your name as you ran past him, but you ignored him. It was Daryl, it had to be Daryl.

You pushed open the doors spotting Bob lying on the ground a few metres in front of the church with one of his legs cut off just above the knee and for an assassin and all the shit you had seen over the years, you nearly threw up in your mouth when you saw him. But, that didn't last long when you spotted the group of walkers stumbling towards you.

Sasha, Maggie and Tara all ran to Bob while you turned your attention towards the walkers as Glenn and Rick began to help you take them down when suddenly a gunshot echoed through the air and whizzed past your head. Son of a bitch.

"Get inside!" Rick shouted as you pulled your sniper from your back and began to fire in the general direction of the gunshot, but you couldn't see anything through the dark dense woods, so you fired off a few stray rounds, hoping to scare off whoever it was.

"Go! Inside, Y/N!" Rick yelled above his own gun firing and you quickly threw your sniper back over your shoulder and ran back inside with the others.

The others got Bob into one of the small rooms at the back of the church and sat with him, but you stayed in the main room of the church not wanting to crowd the poor man as you sat with Carl who was rocking a sleeping Judith in his arms.

Eventually, Rick and a few others came out the room and explained everything to you. 

Bob was bit and was taken by Gareth and a few others. Apparently, Gareth saw Daryl and Carol drive off which made no sense what so ever, but you were more focused on the fact that Gareth was actually alive and had been stalking the group.

"Time for a reality check. We all need to leave for DC right now." Abraham declared, walking over to the small group of you that were listening to Rick explain everything while Sasha sat with her boyfriend in the small room, wanting to be with him before he died.

"Daryl and Carol are gonna be back. We're not leaving without them." Rick responded, looking over at Abraham.

"I respect that, but there's a clear threat here to Eugene. I need to extract his ass before things get any uglier. So if y'all won't come, good luck to you. We'll go out separate ways." Abraham explained as he began to walk off towards the door, followed by Rosita.

"You leaving on foot?" Rick questioned and you knew he didn't want Abraham to take the bus.

"We fixed that damn bus ourselves." The bigger man answered, anger lacing his voice as he turned around to face the group of you, his eyes focused on Rick.

"There are a lot more of us." Rick responded as he began to take a few strides towards Abraham and you quickly followed, knowing things could get heated real soon. "Carol saved your life. We saved your life."

"Well, I am trying to save yours. Save everyone's!" Abraham yelled and you quickly took a step forward so you were level with Rick and directly in front of Abraham who probably didn't even know you were there since he was so damn focused on Rick.

"We're not going anywhere without our people." Rick stated sternly, not backing down.

"Your people took off."

"They're coming back." Rick snapped.

"To what, picked-over bones?!" Abraham shouted and that was all it took before Rick reached for him and a screaming match erupted between them as Abraham balled his hand into a fist before you quickly stood in front of Rick and shoved the red-haired man hard in the chest.

"Calm the fuck down! We aren't going anywhere without are people, end of fucking story." You growled, sizing Abraham up as he glared at you.

"Since when do you care about these people? The only thing you care about is that God damn knife and your wrist. Want to elaborate on why your knife has your blood on it?" The man questioned, a hint of a grin forming on his lips knowing he had just found a sensitive topic and you were shocked that he managed to figure all of that out, but it only startled you for a second.

"That is light years away from being of your fucking business." You snapped, glaring at the man noticing his knuckles were starting to turn white at his side from clenching his fist tightly. 

"You want to punch me? Go right ahead, hit me and see what happens. Seriously, do it. It'll be fun." You encouraged before Glenn suddenly got between the two of you.

"Enough! Do you really think that you're gonna be any safer leaving right now in the middle of the night?" He questioned and Abraham nodded. Well, that wasn't the answer Glenn was probably looking for. "What about tomorrow? We need each other for this. We need each other to get to DC."

"I have an idea." Tara suddenly spoke up. "If you stay just one more day and help, I'll go with you to DC no matter what."

"Glenn and Maggie too." Abraham responded and Rick immediately shook his head and you knew he didn't want the group to split up, especially them since they had been together since practically the start.

"It's not your call. You stay, help us and we will go with you." Glenn replied, glancing over at Maggie before looking back towards Abraham who seemed to think about it for a second before he nodded.

Well, at least this argument was resolved for the time being, but if Daryl and Carol weren't back by midday tomorrow then shit was going to hit the fan again that was for sure.

-

Once Rick and Abraham both cooled off the group of you began to go over a plan on what to do about Gareth and the group. 

Gabriel knew where the place was that Bob described earlier that was apparently their camp. It didn't take much to figure out, the group was going to go in there and attack them before they attacked first. It was a fairly straight forward plan and you were looking forward to killing those sick assholes, but of course Rick had other ideas.

"Carl, Y/N, I want you two to stay here and look after Judith." He instructed, turning towards you and your head snapped away from the bible you were staring at you as you focused on Rick. Was he seriously going to make you stay back? You were the best damn shot out of all of them, they needed you there to back them up.

"I can help. I'm a good shot with this thing, you know that." You responded, motioning towards your sniper that was resting across your lap and Rick nodded in agreement.

"Which is why I need you to stay here and keep an eye on the place." He answered and you sighed, but didn't bother arguing any further before Abraham told Rosita to stay back as well and she put up more of a fight than you did, but in the end she gave up and agreed.

The others all left, leaving you, Rosita, Eugene, Gabriel, Carl and Judith sitting inside along with Tyreese who sat in one of the small rooms with Bob in case he turned. Shit, poor Sasha. No wonder she wanted to go with the group and kill the assholes who hurt her boyfriend.

You sat beside the front window as Rosita locked the door behind them, not taking any chances before she walked towards the room where Bob was to update Tyreese on what was going on.

You watched as the group disappeared out of sight and you stayed there, your eyes scanning the area you could see out the window for the next 10 minutes, since you didn't have anything else to do when suddenly you saw movement outside. It was Gareth and his group.

"Carl, Rosita, Gabriel, Eugene." You hissed, quickly shutting the curtain of the window as you jogged across the church towards the three of them. "They're here. They're outside." You explained and they stared at you in shock because that was not what was meant to happen. They were meant to stay where ever they were camping while Rick and the others ambushed them, not the other way around.

"Get in the room, now." Rosita instructed and you didn't bother arguing because you didn't have any other ideas as Carl grabbed Judith and you all rushed into the room, shutting the door behind you.

To your relief Bob was unconscious as Rosita whispered to Tyreese what was happening. You helped Carl sit down half behind a small desk with Judith in his lap before you stood beside the door, your back pressed against the wall with your handgun in your hands ready.

None of you dared to say anything when you heard the front door to the church bust open causing Gabriel to curl in on himself in the corner of the small room holding some kind of necklace and Eugene wasn't too far off that himself.

Carl gently put Judith down and pulled out his own handgun aiming towards the door like Rosita was. But you kept your back to the wall beside the door and the second someone opened it you'd be right there.

"Well, I guess you know we're here. And we know you're here. And we're armed. So there's really no point in hiding anymore." Gareth's voice shouted slowly from inside the church and you silently pulled the slide back on your handgun.

"We've been watching you. We know who's here. There's Bob, unless you've put him out of his misery already. And Eugene, Rosita, Tyreese, Carl, Judith and Y/N or should I say the Shadow Assassin?" Gareth asked and Rosita's eyes quickly flashed over at you in shock along with Tyreese's, both of them clearly having heard of the Shadow Assassin, but the others clearly had no idea what Gareth was referring to.

Rosita was staring at you with a questioning look and you just nodded, no point lying about it. But, to your shock Rosita just grinned. 

"These guys are so dead." She whispered and you gave the woman a small smile, nodding to Tyreese who seemed to on the same page and relieved that you were there and on their team.

"Rick and the rest walked out with a lot of your guns. Listen, we don't know where you all are, but this isn't a big place. So let's just stop this now before things get more painful than they need to be." Gareth continued. 

His voice now sounded a lot closer than before when suddenly the door knob began to rattle, but you knew the door was locked, although that was probably not going to stop them.

"Look, you're behind one of these two doors and we have more than enough firepower to take down both. Can't imagine that's what what you want. How about the priest? Father, you help us wrap this up, we'll let you walk away from this. Just open the door and you can go. You can take the baby with you. What do you say?" Gareth questioned and you silently shook your head at Gabriel who just nodded, clearly not stupid enough to fall for it when suddenly Judith began crying.

Carl quickly holstered his gun and picked up his sister trying to hush her, but it was too late. 

Gareth knew exactly where the group of you were hiding.

"Maybe we'll keep the kid. I'm starting to like this girl." Gareth responded and you glanced around the room at the small group of people, giving them a nod before you quietly pulled the key from the door unlocking it.

You took a deep breath, listening to the footsteps outside and you were 80 percent sure that there was a person standing right outside the door and those odds were better than nothing.

Without another thought, you quickly swung the door open, hitting the person standing in front of it causing him to grunt in pain before you jumped out, slamming the door shut behind you and grabbing the man at the same time.

You held the man in front of you, your handgun pressed to the side of his head as you took in Gareth and his four other men standing in the church, all of them with their automatic rifles aimed at you.

"Lower your guns before I blow your buddy's brains out." You threatened, glaring at Gareth.

You held the man tightly in front of you who was frozen in fear with the gun to his head.

"I don't think so. You're out numbered." Gareth responded in amusement before a gunshot echoed through the air and one of his men on the far side of the room dropped to the ground dead.

You used their sudden distraction to your advantage and killed the man you were using as a shield, letting his body drop to the floor as you aimed your handgun towards Gareth who was glancing back and forth between you and the back of the church.

"Put your guns on the floor." Rick's voice instructed from the far end of the church.

You couldn't see him since the candles had been blow out and it was now pitch black by the front door, but you knew Rick was there.

You quickly pulled the trigger, shooting Gareth in the leg causing him to whimper in pain as he dropped to the floor.

"I told you to put your guns on the floor. Now kneel." Rick instructed, stepping out from the dark with his handgun raised in Gareth's direction.

"Do what he says." Gareth groaned.

You watched as his men all dropped their guns and knelt down on the ground before the rest of the group all walked out from the shadows behind Rick.

You sighed with relief, glad that it didn't take them long to realise that Gareth wasn't at his camp because you were kind of winging it back there when you took one of their men hostage like that. You were almost certain your plan wouldn't have worked. 

"No point in begging, right?" Gareth asked as Rick walked over to him, his handgun aimed at the cannibals head.

"No." Rick simply answered, cocking the handgun as he took a step towards Gareth.

Your handgun still aimed in his direction too, despite already shooting him, but after the shit he had done, you weren't going to take any chances. He had to die.

"You're seriously going to kill me? You're going to kill me and let her live?" Gareth questioned, nodding in your direction.

You watched as Rick frowned at him a little, but didn't look towards where he was pointing. You were the only group member standing in that direction, so Rick knew he was pointing at you. 

"You know who she is, right?" Gareth asked.

Well, things were about to get real interesting. 

"What are you talking about?" Rick question, not taking his eyes from the man as he spoke.

"She's the Shadow Assassin. That name ring any bells? Some called her a vigilante, but really she was just a paid killer, hit-man, assassin, whatever label you want to give her. You've had a trained assassin living in your group and you didn't even know?" Gareth asked in disbelief seeming to enjoy this way to much as Rick glanced over at you for a split second before he turned back to Gareth.

"It doesn't matter. Besides, I already made you a promise." Rick responded as he holstered his handgun and pulled out his red machete before slamming it down against Gareth's head.

"No!" His men screamed before you aimed your gun, killing two of them while Abraham and Sasha killed the last two.

You watched as Rick hacked at Gareth's now dead body with the red machete before he took a step away and dropped the machete. 

A split second later he pulled his handgun back out and turned towards you, aiming the gun in your direction. Well, shit.


	9. Chapter 9

Everyone in the room froze, not knowing what to do.

Their eyes flashing between you and Rick, who took a step towards you, his gun still aimed at your head.

"You do what you gotta do, Deputy." You simply said, holstering your own handgun.

You stared at Rick, his eyes staring right back at you in pure shock when you repeated the same sentence you had said to him all those years ago when you crossed paths with him and Deputy Walsh.

"You going to try deny what he said?" Rick questioned, almost hoping that you would deny everything and just forget about this whole thing, but you shook your head.

"I haven't lied to you once Deputy and I don't plan on starting now." You answered honestly, glancing to your left when the door to the small room opened as Rosita, Eugene, Gabriel and Carl slowly walked out with Judith in the young boys arms as they stared at you cautiously.

You knew that Rosita didn't give a shit about your past and neither did Beth or Daryl, but they weren't the ones in charge, Rick was.

"So, you're saying he was telling the truth?" Rick asked, in disbelief not lowering his gun in the slightest.

"I don't know about the vigilante crap, I just killed people who needed to be killed. When we crossed paths and your partner got stabbed, I was after the last man on my fathers list. Once I killed him, I was going to stop, but then people would come to me with a name and money... I guess after that I became a hit-man, but for a while it was just about finishing what my father started." You tried to explain.

Although, you weren't sure why you were even trying to explain yourself to him. You didn't need to prove yourself, if Rick wanted to kill then he could just do it.

"Your father?" Rick asked in confusion before suddenly something clicked in his brain.

"No, that's impossible, Y/F/N Y/L/N didn't have a any kids." Rick stated shaking his head in disbelief and you had to give him credit for knowing this stuff, but he was wrong.

"Yeah, he did. Once I was born he quit and he went off the grid. But, 12 years later his past caught up to him and a group of men murdered him and my mother while I hid inside a closet. Do you know what that's like? A 12-year-old girl watching her parents get brutally murdered and then having to bury them by yourself because you couldn't call the cops or anyone for help?" You questioned, but Rick just continued to stare at you like he was still trying to wake up from some nightmare.

"After that I found my fathers old gear. The black hoodie, the bandanna, his sniper, his hit-list book that had only half the names crossed out, I found all his old gear. I trained, I practised, I made myself into a better version and then I went after the remaining names on his list." You explained and you watched as Rick's fingers twitched on his handgun, but he didn't show any sign of pulling the trigger or lowering it.

"Why?"

You glanced around at the rest of the group, all of which were still staring at you in shock and you noticed Abraham also had his gun raised in your direction. Typical.

"I knew the people who killed my parents were on that list, they killed my father before he could finish the job. So, I took it upon myself to get justice." You simply explained turning your attention back to Rick as you stated down the barrel of his gun.

"You mean revenge. You have killed 32 people! That's not justice, that's mass murder!" Rick yelled, tilting his head to the side as his hand tightened around his pistol.

"I've killed a lot more than 32 people, Deputy. That's just the number the cops could link back to me, there were dozens more and well including the assholes on the road and these bastards, the number just keeps getting higher." You informed, nodding towards the dead Terminus men on the group causing Rick to glare at you, his jaw clenched as he pulled the hammer back on his handgun with his thumb.

You knew what Rick was about to do. He had the chance to kill you all those years ago, but he didn't and he wasn't going to make that same mistake again.

Suddenly Carl rushed forward, Judith still in arms as he stood between you and Rick.

"Dad, don't." Carl yelled and you stared at the kid in shock. Why would he care if you lived or died?

"Carl, get out the way. She's the Shadow Assassin! She was the biggest target and threat on the police radar before all this, the whole damn country was looking for her and they didn't care if she was bought in dead or alive. Now, move." Rick ordered, but Carl shook his head as Judith began to whimper in his arms.

"Y/N saved us, back on the road with those biker people. She saved us at Terminus. She saved Daryl and Maggie after Judith was born. She saved Daryl and Glenn on a supply run. We'd all be dead if it wasn't for her." Carl tried to argue and Rick looked like he was going to snap as he ran his free hand through his hair in frustration.

"I don't give a monkeys left nut, she's an assassin. I say we kill her." Abraham spoke up causing you to chuckle as you glanced over at the other man. Of course he'd say that, he never liked you from the start.

"I'm not going to let you kill her." Carl insisted, glancing between his father and Abraham.

For a while, nobody said anything before Rick sighed and holstered his handgun.

"Put your hands up. You try anything, I won't hesitate to kill you." Rick threatened and you just nodded as you raised your hands and watched as Rick walked over to you and quickly took your handgun and knife from your belt.

He handed your weapons to Glenn who was the closest before he pulled your sniper from your back, along with your small pistol you kept in your boot.

Rick frisked you to make sure you weren't hiding any other weapons before he felt your small note book on the inside pocket of your jacket.

"It's not a weapon, it's my hit-list, relax." You commented noticing his slight panic.

Rick pulled the small book out passing it off to Maggie before he went through your other pockets, but all he found was the needle and thread.

"What are you going to do with her?" Glenn asked, speaking up for the first during the whole thing.

You turned your attention back to Rick because you were pretty interested in whatever answer he'd say.

"Don't know yet. Sit down." Rick ordered sternly, pointing towards the wooden church bench to your left and you did as he said and sat down.

You watched as Abraham began going through one of the bags from the Terminus men, probably trying to find something to tie you up with as he pulled out a set of handcuffs and you had to stop yourself from grinning.

You could easily get out of them if you wanted, but you knew that was probably a stupid idea. So you sat there quietly as Rick took them from Abraham and cuffed your wrists together causing to you wince slightly when he bumped your stitches on your wrist.

"Nobody goes near her and if she moves, kill her. We'll figure something out in the morning, lets just get these bodies out." Rick instructed and with that everyone began to move and help each other with the bodies as they dragged them out the church while you sat there and watched.

That night everyone spread out around the church, being mindful of the blood on the floor from the Terminus men while you remained sitting where Rick told you to.

You wondered what Daryl would do if he came back, no _when_ he came back. He didn't seem to give a shit about your past, but now that Rick knew and didn't like it, Daryl probably wouldn't like it either.

Those two were as close as brothers and you'd doubt Daryl would take your side over Ricks and you wouldn't blame him.

Rick, Abraham and few others switched off throughout the night to keep watch and to keep an eye on you. But, you just sat there and slept for most the night, because what else were you meant to do? You were probably going to die soon anyway, so might as well get a good nights sleep.

-

The following morning was crazy to say the least. Everyone said their last goodbyes to Bob, minus you because Rick wouldn't let you move from the seat, except for when you needed to pee and Maggie convinced Rick to let her take you out to the woods to pee.

She'd offered you a chance to leave, told you to just go because she knew you weren't a bad person, but you couldn't leave.

You had to help find Daryl and make sure he was okay. Once you knew he was okay then you might leave or hell, Rick might kill you, but you didn't care as long as Daryl was okay.

Bob died a few hours later and the group buried him while you stood off to the side, your hands still cuffed with Rick practically watching your every move.

Once they buried their friend, Abraham declared that it was midday and got his group ready to leave, including Glenn, Maggie and Tara and you all watched as they drove the bus off down the dirt road leaving you, Rick, Carl, Judith, Michonne, Sasha, Tyreese and Gabriel at the church.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful, Rick still wasn't sure what to do with you. Carl wouldn't let him kill you and he didn't want to let you leave because you could easily find them again, but he couldn't trust you to be part of the group and you understood that. But, you were starting to get real bored of sitting and standing around in handcuffs.

"Guys, Daryl's back." Michonne's voice suddenly called from the front door.

You glanced over your shoulder from where you were sitting one of the benches to find Michonne walking back inside followed by Daryl and some kid you had never seen before.

In an instant the group all rushed over them, minus Sasha who was mourning her boyfriends death and still sitting outside somewhere.

You watched as Rick pulled Daryl into hug and Daryl asked where the others were and Rick explained everything as they all began walking back to the front of the church where you were still sitting.

You listened as Daryl began explaining what happened and you tried to keep the handcuffs hidden. You didn't want Daryl to see them and get distracted by them because he was in the middle of explaining what happened to Beth and Carol and you really wanted to know. Plus he was explaining how he found this kid who's name was apparently Noah.

By the time he finished explaining everyone was staring at him in shock because the people who took Beth, had also taken Carol. And this Noah guy used to be one of them, but got free and knew exactly where their camp was.

Within an hour the group of them agreed to a plan.

Tomorrow morning you were all going to board up the windows, block off the front steps so no walkers could get into the church where Michonne, Carl, Judith and Gabriel would be staying.

The rest of you were going to head to Atlanta to try get Carol and Beth who were apparently being help hostage by a group of police officers inside some kind of hospital.

"Y/N, you're staying here." Rick instructed sternly, but you shook your head.

Beth was one of the few people who actually treated you like a normal person, you were going with them and you were going to get Beth back.

"I'm going, but not to help you. I'm going to help, Beth. If you want to stop me then you're going to have to do more than just these handcuffs." You responded, holding your hands up from your lap to show off the handcuffs around your wrist towards the group who were all sitting on the various benches.

Your eyes locked with Daryl's as he stared at you for a few seconds in confusion before his head snapped around to Rick in sudden anger.

"The hell ya got her chained up for?!" Daryl questioned, glaring at his best friend who sighed, rubbing his face with his hands.

"She's the Shadow Assassin! She's not a good person, we can't trust her." Rick stated pointing towards you causing you to roll your eyes, but you didn't want Daryl getting worked up about this. You needed to focus on Beth and Carol, that was the only thing that mattered.

"She ain't a threat to us! Rick, she-" Daryl began to argue before you cut him off.

"It's cool, Daryl. Rick's just trying to protect the group. I get it. Let's just focus on what's important, okay?" You asked, looking over at Daryl as you gave him a reassuring smile and he looked like he wanted to argue about the topic more. His eyes glanced down to the cuffs on your wrist before he sighed, but nodded.

"Good, now I'm coming with you and once we get them back then you do whatever you want with me, Deputy. But, until then, I am coming with you." You stated sternly and Rick stared at you for a few seconds before he nodded.

"Everyone go get some rest. We start securing the place in the morning and leave after that." He instructed.

Everyone nodded in agreement and went off to their bags and blankets while Rick and Daryl stayed sitting on the bench near you.

"Why didn't you just kill me and Shane that day in the cabin? Why help Shane control the bleeding and let me call for back up? Hell, you even used Shane's walkie to call for backup yourself. Most bad guys would've just killed us and left." Rick said after a few minutes of silence while Daryl sat beside him, chewing at his thumb nail, both of their eyes on you and you smiled softly at them.

"I only kill bad people, Deputy. You officers were just trying to do your job and caught in the crossfire." You answered honestly.

Rick didn't know how to respond to that as he leant back in his seat, still staring at you.

"Did you feel anything when you killed all those people? Did you feel anything at all?" Rick asked and you knew he was trying to wrap his head around why you used to do what you did, but there wasn't anything you could say that help him understand.

"Recoil."

Daryl glared at you, silently telling you to shut up because you really weren't helping your situation, but you just shrugged your shoulders.

"All those people I've killed both before and after? I want you to know that I'd do it again. They're rapists, psychos, sadists, murderers, they don't deserve to live after the stuff they have done."

"Why do you get to live? Why do you get to choose who lives and who dies?" Rick asked. 

"There are worst things than dying, Deputy. I wake up most mornings and I want it. I hope for it. So, if you think that I deserve to die, then go right ahead. But, if you want to get Carol and Beth back then you're going to need my help. Take your pick." You responded, leaning back in your chair as you stared at them.

"Ya ain't killin' her." Daryl muttered defensively and Rick just nodded as he stood up and walked off, knowing if he stayed there any longer than it would end in an argument.

"Thought I told ya to lie if he ever figured out who ya were." Daryl whispered, moving seats as he sat down beside you.

"And I told you that I wouldn't lie to him." You answered.

"He could've killed ya while I wasn't here." Daryl muttered, a hint of anger in his tone, but you shook your head.

"He could have. But, he won't, at least not until we get your friends back." You explained.

Daryl rubbed his face with his hands before leaning over and resting his arm over your shoulders like he did that night in the woods.

"I ain't gonna let that happen." He stated and you sighed.

Daryl was willing to get into an argument with Rick and his group and stand up for you. Why? It won't end well and you couldn't drag him down. They were his family, you couldn't come between that. 

"You're strong. You're smart and I like you, alright? But, you're so goddamn stubborn and you will throw everything you have with this group away for me and I can't let that happen. So, when that time comes after we get your friends back, I need you to promise me that you will agree to whatever Rick decides, okay? I can't let you throw everything away for me." You stated, glancing over at him, but Daryl shook his head as his arm tightened around your shoulders. His face was covered by his hair, but you could see the way he was biting his lip as he thought about what to day.

"Nah, we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out together." Daryl replied, but you shook your head.

"No. I can't let you throw everything away for me. There's no warm cozy ending, not for me. There's no light at the end of this tunnel, I knew that a long time ago and I've excepted it, so I need you to except it too. Whatever Rick decides after all of this, you just go with it, please. Promise me." You said, resting your head down against his shoulder as he held you and you could feel him shaking his head at you.

"Can't promise that." He mumbled, resting his head on top of yours, but neither of you said anything after that as you both slowly fell asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning Rick still refused to take your handcuffs off while they all secured the church.

By the time it was midday you all hit the road in the back of some delivery truck.

Rick drove with Noah in the passenger seat to instruct him where to go while the rest of you sat in the back of the truck.

Nobody really said anything as you all sat in silence, Sasha and Tyreese sitting on one side while you and Daryl sat on the other side, your backs leaning against the sides of the trucks.

You weren't sure how long you were driving for before Rick finally pulled the truck over and you all snuck inside some kind of building that was a few buildings over from the hospital where Beth and Carol were being kept.

"Well, what's next on the agenda?" Sasha questioned as you all sat down in a small circle trying to figure out the next part of the plan, although Rick still had the damn cuffs on your wrist.

Rick began to lay down the plan and you liked his plan, but it had a lot holes in it and Tyreese must have noticed as well.

"All it takes is one of those cops going down the hall at the wrong time. Then it's not quiet. All hands on deck. We're talking about a lot of bullets flying around." Tyreese pointed out and you hated that the man was right. It was a risky plan, but nobody had any other ideas.

"If that's what it takes." Sasha responded, but her brother shook his head.

"It's not. If we get a couple of her cops alive out here, we do an even trade. Theirs for ours. Everybody goes home." The man explained and nobody said anything for a few seconds as they thought about that idea.

"It'll work. Ya say this Dawn, she's just tryin' to keep it together, right?" Daryl asked, looking over at Noah who nodded.

"Ya take two of her cops away, what choices does she have? Everybody goes home. Like he says." Daryl finished, pointing towards Tyreese and you nodded in agreement.

"So, now that we have a plan are you going to get these cuffs off or what?" You asked, holding your hands up towards Rick who seemed hesitant before he pulled the key out from his pocket and unlocked the cuffs.

You watched as pulled them away and you rubbed your wrists relieved that they were finally free.

You gave Rick a small nod and he nodded back, but didn't make any move to give your weapons back yet and you weren't going to push your luck.

It was fairly easy to capture two of their men with Noah being used as bait. He fired a few rounds of a handgun without a silencer and within five minutes one of the cop cars showed up and then the rest of you came out from behind a building and handcuffed the cops.

"Mind if I ask you something? The way you talk, the way you carry yourself... were you a cop?" The male police officer asked looking at Rick, although you had no idea if the man really was a police officer or now just wearing someone else uniform.

Before Rick had a chance to answer another car suddenly sped around the corner and you watched in panic as Rick and the others all opened fire on the car while ducking for cover being wooden crates.

All you could do was drop down behind one of the crates with Daryl, since you didn't have any weapons of your own and watch as the cops you had just handcuffed got pulled into the car before it sped off around the corner behind a building.

Without saying anything the group of you all ran after the car, but as soon as you turned the corner you spotted the car parked with the doors open in the middle of an area that had recently been burnt.

There were walkers corpses on the ground, all burnt along with burnt cars and portable trailers.

What the hell happened to this place? You thought to yourself as you scanned the area, but you couldn't see any of the cops.

"Two, on me." Rick quickly instructed as he took off running.

You all began to follow him before Daryl suddenly stopped and you did too as you scanned the area because there were more than just two cops, the others were here somewhere.

"I got the trailers, check the car." Daryl said and you nodded, feeling naked without any form of weapon as you picked up a metal pipe from the ground and figured that was better than nothing.

Slowly you made your way over to their abandon car. The doors were open, but nobody was inside. The front wheels were jammed up from walker guts and body parts because they were stupid enough to run over the corpses on the ground instead of dodging them.

Sudden grunting drew your attention away from the car and you spun around spotting Daryl by the one of the trailers now pinned to the ground by a cop you couldn't recognise. The cop had his hands around Daryl's throat, but you didn't miss the burnt walker on the ground beside them that was still alive. Shit. Now you really wished you had a gun.

You ran across the yard towards them, forcing your legs to move faster as you watched Daryl grab the walkers head through the eyes and ripped its head from it's burnt body as he slammed it skull into the side of the cops face.

The force of the hit sent the cop tumbling backwards just as you reached them and you tackled the man to the ground, pinning him like he did to Daryl only moment before as you pressed the shaft of the metal rod down against his throat, so he couldn't move.

Suddenly, the sound of a gun cocking filled the air and you quickly looked up to find Rick standing a few metres away, his gun raised, but it wasn't aimed at you. It was aimed the cop below you as you glared down at him for a second before standing up and taking a few steps away.

"Okay. You win, asshole." The cop groaned, slowly standing himself up as he stared at Rick with his hands up, but Rick didn't lower the gun and you secretly hoped he'd pull the trigger. That cop nearly got Daryl killed.

"Rick." Daryl called out, walking over to the three of you as he held his arm out towards Rick, trying to calm him down. 

"Three's better than two." He said calmly and Rick reluctantly lowered his weapon. 

Daryl tied the mans hands behind his back and you glanced around spotting the others standing off to the side with the other two cops that you had handcuffed earlier. Good, they got them. 

You took the three cops back to the building and handcuffed them all to metal poles in the large building that you were pretty sure used to be some kind of multi-layer car park back in the day, but now it was just an empty building.

Rick instructed you and Daryl to stand watch duty on the roof of the building. The two of you patrolled the edges of the roof, keeping an eye on the Grady Memorial hospital in the distance and the ground below, but there wasn't much other than walkers stumbling around.

However, somehow one of the cops you had hostage got free, knocked Sasha out and made a run for it, but Rick stopped him and by stopped you meant kill. So, now you were down to two cops to exchange with Dawn who was apparently the leader of the other group, but two was better than nothing you supposed.

Rick used one of the cops radio to contact their group and asked to meet with two of their people. He gave them a time and location before switching the radio off, not waiting for a reply because you all knew that they would show up.

"I want you guys on the roof that has direction vision to the road that I'm meeting them at. Daryl with that .22 scoped rifle to cover me while I talk to the cops and try figure out a deal with them." Rick explained and everyone just nodded in agreement because it was your best option.

"You need people to cover you in case this goes sideways, right? Give me my sniper back and I'll cover you, you know I'm good shot." You spoke up and it felt like this was the first time you had spoken since you left the church, but you weren't going to let Rick go out there without proper back up.

"Yeah, trust me, I know how good of a shot you are." Rick responded, anger laced through his tone as he looked over at you, but you just shrugged your shoulders.

"You want to start a war with this group, or you want to just give me a gun? It's your call, Deputy." You said gently, glancing over at Daryl who stayed silent, not wanting to get in the middle of this before you turned your attention back to Rick.

"Fine, but the second you step out of line-"

"You'll kill me? I know, we've been over this before." You replied and with that the group of you began to get organised.

Sasha and Tyreese lead the two cops up the stairs to the roof, while you and Daryl set up on the edge of the rooftop with the two scoped rifles. It felt good to finally have your sniper back in your hands, but you knew Rick was weary about giving it to you, especially since you could easily just shoot him in the back of the head right now.

You kept your sights on him as he walked towards the vantage point and Daryl kept his sights on the cop car that he had been watching since it left the hospital and gave Tyreese a signal to indicate that the cops were nearly there.

"They're headed towards the vantage point." Tyreese informed through the radio to Rick who you watched say something back through his radio, but you didn't hear his response as the cop car turned the corner and pulled up in front of Rick.

Quickly, you moved your sighs towards the car as two cops stepped out, both with handguns aimed in Rick's direction. 

You hovered your cross-hairs over the left guys forehead, knowing Daryl already had his sights on the guy to the right. Your finger rested over the trigger, just waiting for them of them to make the wrong move or for Rick to give you a signal which meant kill them, but that was only for an emergency and you were pretty sure Rick had this under control.

You watched as Rick lowered his pistol to the ground and began talking to the cops. None of you could hear what he was saying as you watched on from the rooftop when you spotted a walker stumbling around the corner towards them.

For a second you wondered if you should leave the walker, not wanting to startle the cops and make them accidentally pull the trigger on Rick, but then Rick gave a slight signal with his hand. To any on lookers they wouldn't have noticed it, but you did and you knew what it meant.

Moving your sights from the cop to the walker, you aimed the cross-hairs over the walkers eye and squeezed the trigger, watching in satisfaction as the walker dropped to the ground with a bullet through it's eye.

The two cops frantically looked around trying to find the source of the shot, but you had your silencer connected to the end of the barrel and there was no way they could pinpoint you guys from where you were.

You turned your sights back towards the cop again and watched as he pulled out his radio and talked back and forth with someone for a few minutes and you knew he was no doubt talking to their leader about Rick's proposal.

Patience was never one of your strong points and it felt like hours before Rick gave you the signal to come down with the two cops and you sighed with relief, slinging your sniper over your shoulder as you and Daryl followed Tyreese and Sasha as they walked the hostages back down the steps. 

They still had their wrists bound and you were pretty certain that they weren't bad people and just wanted to go back to their group, but you weren't taking any chances and neither were the brother and sister as they held the two cops tightly, not wanting to risk anything.

By the time you got outside Rick had already started up the spare cop car that was already out the front and you all piled into the car which was extremely crammed, but you made it work as Rick followed the other cops back to Grady Memorial.

"So, they agreed to the deal?" Sasha asked, from the backseat.

You glanced over your shoulder towards her where she was squished beside her brother, Noah and the two cops, all of them practically sitting on each others laps and it was the same in the front. Rick was driving and probably had the best seat while Daryl sat in the passenger seat with you practically sitting on his lap as well, but you weren't going to complain about that.

"Yeah, they'll take us to Dawn and she'll hand over Carol and Beth for those two. But, keep your eyes open, anything could happen." Rick instructed, pressing his foot down on the accelerator as he followed the other cop car.

"If Dawn doesn't agree, then what?" Tyreese asked, although by the tone of his voice it was clear he didn't really want to know the answer to that.

"Then we do whatever it takes to get our family back. If that means killing them, then that is what we do." Rick answered and you couldn't stop the small smile forming on your lips as you looked over at Rick who must have sense you were looking at him and glanced over at you. "What?"

"You hate me because of all the people I've killed before the world turned to hell, but look at you now, Deputy. You're the one giving orders to kill, yet-" You began to say before cut you off.

"Is there a point to this?" He snapped, glaring over at you for a second before he focused back on the road and you felt Daryl nudge you slightly as if to warn you to back down before you said anything you might regret, but it was too late.

"Yes. You know the one thing that you just can't seemed to understand, Deputy? You're one bad day away from being me." You answered causing Rick's eyes to quickly flick back towards you with an narrow eyes. 

"And you know what else? That isn't a bad thing. You do what you need to do to survive and you have to do whatever it takes to take care of the people you love and that's where we're different. You kill for love, for your family. I kill for strangers, for victims and people that I don't even know because if I don't then those killers, those rapists, those psychos will just keep doing it and hurting more people."

Rick didn't say anything for a moment before he slowly nodded as he continued driving. You weren't really sure how to respond to that, so you didn't say anything further as you leant back into your seat and by seat you meant Daryl.

You kept your sniper in your hands as you all climbed out the car, eyeing the two new cops as they lead you towards the side door of the hospital. They both had their guns in their hands, but you could tell their safety was still flicked on, so that was a good sign.

You, Rick and Daryl followed behind the two cops while Tyreese, Sasha and Noah walked behind with the hostages as the front cops lead you up some stairs and around a few hallways until you reached a set of double doors. 

You could see a group of cops through the small glass slat in the door. They were all standing further down the hallway and must have spotted you guys on the other side of the door and began to holster their guns.

"Holster your weapons. You, too." Rick ordered, glancing over at the two cops who lead you over here.

Everyone did as Rick said and you slung your sniper back over your shoulder and watched through the glass as a few cops stepped to the side as Beth came forward, pushing Carol who was on a wheel chair and you sighed with relief. Beth was okay and Carol was alive, that was all that mattered.

A second later the two cops opened the door and lead you into the hallway with the others. The two cops walked straight over to their group and joined them while you guys walked down the hallway, but stopped and kept a good distance from them in case things went sideways.

"Where's Lamson?" A woman in uniform question and you figured she must be the leader, Dawn. 

"Rotters got him. We saw it go down." The two cops you had hostage answered and Dawn nodded.

"I'm sorry to hear that. He was one of the good guys. Now, one of yours for one of mine." Dawn instructed and Rick nodded as Daryl grabbed the male cop and began to walk him down the hallway as one of the other cops met him halfway with Carol still in the wheelchair and they swapped.

You stepped to the side, letting Daryl take Carol to the back of the group so she was out of harms way, before you stepped forward and stood beside Rick, not taking your eyes off Dawn as she grabbed Beth's arm and began to walk her towards you.

Rick grabbed the female cop you had hostage and took a few steps down the hallway and you followed, not trusting this Dawn chick at all before they swapped and Rick instantly pulled Beth into a hug and you smiled softly watching the two of them before Beth's eyes landed on you.

"You're here!" She exclaimed happily and threw her arms around you unexpectedly and you chuckled awkwardly, but hugged the young girl back.

"I'm glad we could work things out." Dawn spoke up as the three of you began walking back to the others, but what Dawn said next made you freeze and turn around. "Now I just need Noah and then you can leave."

"That wasn't the deal." You stated sternly as you stared at the other woman, who seemed pretty set on getting the boy back.

"Noah was my ward. Beth took his place and I'm losing her, so I need him back." Dawn explained liked that made everything better. 

You couldn't send Noah back to them, not after all the shit he told you about Dawn, she wasn't a good person. The other cops might be alright, but Dawn was borderline crazy.

"Ma'am, please, it's not-" The female officer you had hostage earlier tried to argue before Dawn silenced her.

"Shepherd! My officers put their lives on the line to find him. One of them died."

"No, he ain't stayin'." Daryl muttered, taking a step forward to block Noah from going back to Dawn because that kid would go back with that group if meant you guys were able to go free.

"You have no claim on him. The boy wants to go home, so you have no claim on him." Rick argued, but Dawn shook her head.

You could feel your fingers twitching and you forced yourself not to pull your sniper out despite every bone in your body telling you to just kill the woman and be done with it.

"Well, then we don't have a deal."

"It's okay." Noah spoke up and you glanced over your shoulder towards the boy as he began to walk towards you guys and you shook your head at him, but he just smiled sadly at you. 

"I got to do it." He said when Rick grabbed his arm to stop him and you watched as Noah handed his handgun to Rick who reluctantly took it before Noah began walking towards the cops.

"Wait!" Beth called out as she jogged over to him and you quickly followed, not wanting Beth anywhere near Dawn by herself. But, you took a step to the side to give the two some space as Beth pulled Noah into a hug and your heart broke for the two of them being split up. You weren't sure if they were friends or something more, but either way it would painful for them to go their separate ways.

"I knew you'd be back." Dawn commented in a tone that you did not like at all. 

Dawn watched the two of them hug and your eyes snapped towards her from where she was standing barely a metre in front of you before Beth took a few steps to the side until she was standing right beside you, but her teary eyes were locked with Dawns.

"I get it now." Beth said causing you to frown slightly, because what did she get? 

You had no idea what she was talking about, but then you saw Beth reach for something hidden underneath the cast that covered her left wrist causing you to frown even more before you realised it was a pair of scissors.

You knew exactly what Beth was about to do as she plunged the small pair of scissors into Dawns shoulder and the officer instantly pulled her handgun out on instinct.

Before she could pull the trigger on Beth, you quickly grabbed the gun and yanked it away from Beth's direction as Dawn pulled the trigger and sudden pain exploded through your midsection.

You stumbled back a few steps in confusion and you could have sworn you heard Beth scream, but you couldn't hear anything above the ringing in your ears before you felt something wet begin to drip from your stomach.

Frowning in confusion you looked down to find a patch of crimson liquid seeping through your camo jacket and you lifted your now shaking hand to touch the liquid and you quickly realised that it was blood. What the hell?

You lifted your head back up just in time as another gunshot echoed through the hallway intensifying the ringing in your eyes and you watched as a bullet pierced through Dawns skull and her body hit the ground. 

The officers behind her all raised their guns in your groups direction, but you didn't get to see what happened next as your legs began to tremble from underneath you as you stumbled back a few steps.

Suddenly, something solid hit your back as a pair of arms wrapped around your stomach and you looked down to find two hands covering the bullet wound over your jacket, blood seeping through the persons shaky fingers and tripping onto the floor, staining the white tiles a deep red. 

"I got ya. Ya ain't dying on me, girl." A voice said from behind you, but you couldn't hear what the person was saying above the ringing in your ears as you glanced over your shoulder to find Daryl holding you with panicked eyes.

His lips were moving and you knew he was talking to you, but you couldn't understand him as black dots began to cloud your vision before everything faded to black.

-

Daryl watched as Beth stabbed Dawn and before he even had a chance to move, before any of them had a chance to even process what was about to happen, Y/N suddenly sprung into action. All he could do was watch as she pulled Dawn's gun away from Beth just as she pulled the trigger and everyone froze.

For a second nobody moved and he thought that maybe the bullet just hit a wall or something, but then Y/N began to stumble back and Daryl forgot how to breath as he watched her reach for her stomach, her fingers dripping with fresh blood.

Without hesitation, he pulled out his handgun and took a few steps towards Dawn who frantically began to shake her head before he pulled the trigger, killing her instantly.

He didn't wait to watch her fall to the ground as he dropped the gun and rushed over to Y/N who stumbled a few more steps backwards until he grabbed her from behind to steady her.

"No! Hold your fire! It was just about her. It's over. Stand down." One of the other officers shouted, but Daryl wasn't listening as he held Y/N's now trembling body.

"I got ya. Ya ain't dying on me, girl." He muttered, not even caring how weak his voice sounded as he held his hands against the wound on her stomach, hating how the blood just seemed to slip right through his fingers.

Y/N lifted her head slightly to look at him and his eyes locked with hers before he watched in horror as Y/N's eyes rolled into the back of her head. Her body suddenly going limp in his arms and all he could do was catch Y/N's fall and gently lower her to the ground on her back as he pressed his hands over the bullet wound on her stomach.

"This place saves people, right? Save her!" Beth cried, dropping to her knees beside him. 

Beth pressed her hands over his trying to help him slow the bleeding as Y/N laid on the floor of the hallway unconscious, but with the amount of blood she was losing, she wouldn't be unconscious for long. No, this couldn't be happening. She couldn't just die, not like this. She can't fucking die. This couldn't be happening.

Daryl didn't even realise that he was crying until he felt the tears fall from his eyes and onto his bloodied hands that were still pressed against Y/N's stomach when suddenly a pair of hands grabbed his shoulders, but he didn't look away from Y/N. He couldn't.

"They're going to help her. They have a doctor, let them take her." Rick's voice said in his ear. 

He looked up to find a few of the cops still there along with man in a lab coat who had wheeled out a hospital gurney. 

"Save her. Just fuckin' save her." He croaked out as Rick and Tyreese lifted Y/N's pale, bloodied body up onto the hospital gurney and began to wheel her off down the hallway into one of the hospital rooms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait guys, but the next chapter is finally up and there is only one more chapter left for this mini-series! And the new chapter should be up some time this week, so stay tuned.
> 
> Anyway, until next time stay safe everyone and have a great day xx


	11. Chapter 11

  
The doctor wheeled Y/N into some patient room and Beth was instantly by his side and started cutting open her jacket like she had done all of this a thousand times, but Daryl didn't miss how the girls hand shook as she used the scissors.

"Is she going to be okay?" Rick questioned, jogging into the room. 

He stopped beside Daryl who was standing on the far side of the room, his arms crossed over his chest as he slowly paced along the back wall and Rick let him, knowing it was how he dealt with it.

"I don't know." The doctor admitted looking over at Rick. 

Beth began to set up some IV drip after she finished cutting off Y/N's jacket. Exposing the bandage that was stained with dry blood over her left wrist which made Daryl's stomach drop at the sight of it as he thought back to when Y/N had cut herself too deep. 

He wanted to ask what the doctor meant by 'I don't know.' He wanted to ask so many questioned, but he couldn't get the words out as he watched the doctor start to dig inside the bloodied bullet wound trying to find the bullet and he had to turn around. 

He couldn't watch this.

"What do you mean 'you don't know?'" Sasha's voice questioned from the door. 

Rick grabbed his shoulder and squeezed it gently for comfort as Daryl leant his forearms against the back wall and dropped his head, trying to stop the tears from falling down his face. This couldn't be happening. Not to her. 

"She was shot from point blank and she's lost a lot of blood and we don't know her blood type and we don't know if the bullet hit any vital organs and we don't-" The doctor rambled before Rick cut him off.

"AB-negative."

"What?" Beth questioned as she finished setting up the IV and jogged around the gurney over to Rick, who still had his hand on Daryl's shoulder who had his back turned to the doctor and Y/N.

"AB-negative. That's her blood type. Shane and I studied her file for months and the only solid information we had on her was her blood type. It's AB-negative." Rick explained which got Daryl's attention as he turned back around and glanced between Rick and Beth before a small smile spread across her face.

The next few hours felt like an eternity as Daryl stood back and watched the strangers and Beth work on Y/N. 

Rick never left his side and the others all stayed outside in the hallway, not wanting to be too far away from them, but wanted to give them some privacy. Nobody trusted this other group, despite them trying to save Y/N's life.

"The bullet is out. She has 13 stitches and has had two blood transfusions." The doctor informed as he checked on the IV drip beside the bed before he began to take off his blue plastic gloves.

"Now what? Is she going to be okay?" Rick asked, because for the life of him, Daryl still couldn't get himself to say anything. 

All he could do was stare at Y/N's still pale body lying on the gurney in her jeans and sports bra with a thick white bandage wrapped around her mid section.

"I can't tell if there's any internal injuries, but so far she looks to be fighting still, so that's a good sign." The doctor answered glancing between the two of them before he sighed. 

"I'm sorry this happened, but hopefully she'll be awake within the next 24 hours." The doctor continued before he walked out the room leaving him and Rick standing there while Beth sat beside Y/N's bed.

"Ya with me, brother?" Rick asked, squeezing Daryl's shoulder slightly, but Daryl couldn't tear his eyes away from the thick bandage wrapped around Y/N's stomach. "Hey, look at me. She's gonna be fine." Rick tried to reassure him, but Daryl shook his head.

"Ya don't know that." Daryl muttered, rubbing his face with his hands. 

He leant back against the wall still unable to take his eyes away from her because if he did then she might just slip away and he couldn't let that happen. Not after everything she had been through, she couldn't die like this. She couldn't die. 

"She's strong. She was strong before all of this, if anyone can pull through, it's her." Beth spoke up with a confident tone and if wasn't for her tear stained cheeks and red eyes, Daryl would have almost believed her.

"Wait, you knew who she was before this?" Rick asked looking over at Beth who was starting to make her way out the room. 

The young girl nodded before walking out the door, leaving the two of them alone as Rick turned his attention towards Daryl. 

"Did you know who she was before?" Rick questioned, but Daryl didn't look at him as he kept his eyes on Y/N. 

"Yeah, wasn't hard to figure out." Daryl muttered. 

"You knew who she was and you're okay with it?" He asked in disbelief and that was all it took for Daryl to snap.

"Why the hell wouldn't I be? She saved my life too many times to count 'n yours included. She ain't ever killed someone who don't deserve it 'n we both know that!" Daryl shouted, throwing his hands in the air in frustration as he began to pace the small room again.

"She's a murderer." Rick stated causing Daryl to scoff.

"Technically, we are too. But, the world ended, that shit don't matter no more." Daryl responded, shaking his head. 

He walked over to Y/N's bedside and sat down on the chair Beth was sitting earlier as he rested his elbows on the edge of her bed and covered his face with his hands. He wasn't having this argument with Rick. Not now. 

"Why didn't you tell me? She's been with us for weeks, sleeping in the same area as Judith and Carl." Rick continued to say and Daryl had to take a deep breath, trying to calm himself down before he did something he would regret.

"She ain't a rapist or nothin'. She was the one who actually got raped trying to save us!" He snapped, glaring over his shoulder at him before he turned back towards Y/N as he reach forward and brushed a few strands of hair out her face.

"You still should have told me." Rick said softly, all the heat in his voice vanishing as he watched Daryl.

"Wasn't my secret to tell."

Rick sighed, but didn't say anything for a few seconds as he stared at his best friend. He hated how much pain Daryl was in watching Y/N lie on the bed and Rick was slowly starting to realise just how much the assassin truly meant to his brother.

"I think Y/N and I have a lot to talk about if she wakes up." Rick said after a few moments of silence.

"Ya gonna kill her if she wakes up?" He muttered, not bothering to look over at Rick who shook his head before he realised Daryl couldn't see him and actually answered with words.

"She saved Beth's life, on top of all the other times she's saved us. She pulled the gun towards her so it wasn't aimed at Beth... she sacrificed herself for one of ours." Rick began to say, shaking his head at himself as he ran his fingers through his hair. 

"She's earned her place, no matter what she used to do before all this." Rick announced, walking over to Daryl as he rested his hand on his best friends shoulder.

"Rick, the others are here." Tyreese suddenly called from the doorway causing them both to turn around in confusion. 

Why were the others here? They were going to DC for the cure... why would they come back? 

Suddenly, Maggie popped her head around the corner of the door with her arm wrapped tightly around Beth's shoulder as the younger sister clung to Maggie.

"How? You were going to DC?" Rick questioned, staring at the her in shock.

"Eugene lied. There is no cure, so we came back and picked up a couple hitchhikers along the way who told us we'd find you here." Maggie answered, happy tears laced in her eyes as Carl walked into the room with Judith in his arms and Rick sighed with relief as he rushed over to his kids and hugged them.

Everyone slowly left Y/N's room, not wanting to crowd the area and gave Daryl some privacy as he sat beside her bed, refusing to move. 

Shepard, the new leader of the group offered them all hospital rooms with beds for the night. She even told them that they could all stay if they wanted to, but Rick refused and said once Y/N was awake and okay to leave then they would and the group agreed.

However, nobody took Shepard up on her offer and they all ended up camping along the hallway by Y/N's bedroom. 

Beth gave them all pillows and blankets as they sat against the wall and laid on the ground to sleep. Maggie never left Beth's side, still unable to process the fact that her little sister was alive and okay.

Daryl didn't move from beside Y/N unless he needed to take a piss, but he made sure someone was sitting with her while he was gone, even if it was for only a few minutes. He barely slept at all that night and the following day wasn't much better.

The doctor came by occasionally to check Y/N's vitals and make sure everything was going smoothly as far as he could tell. Beth monitored her IV drip and made sure it was always full, but other than that, there was nothing anyone could do.

The cops gave them food and water, constantly apologising for what went down and he knew they felt bad about what happened, but Daryl didn't give a shit. All he cared about was Y/N waking up and that was it.

-

Silence. 

That was the first thing you noticed when you started to wake up. It was too damn quiet, where the hell were you?

Slowly you forced your eyes open, in fear that you might be passed out in the woods and were sitting walker bait or something. But, as you blinked away the blurriness you quickly realised that you were not in the woods, you were in a building.

You glanced around the room in confusion, spotting some medical equipment and machines set up beside your bed and that's when it hit you. 

Flashes of Dawn's handgun and the blood pouring from your stomach filled your mind and it all came flooding back. You were shot and you were still in that hospital with the cops. That's not good. You had to get out of here. 

Without another thought you quickly sat yourself up, ignoring the sudden pain and dizziness that took over your body as you took a deep breath and swung your legs over the side of the bed.

"Y/N?" Daryl's groggy voice question from somewhere behind you. 

It was clear that he had just woken up by how tired his voice sounded, but you didn't answer as you forced yourself to your feet, but that was a big mistake.

The ringing in your ears started again as your head began to spin and you stumbled a few steps before black dots began to cloud your vision. The last thing you were aware of was Daryl guiding you back down onto the bed before you passed out.

-

***Three Hours Later***

"She's waking up, someone go get Daryl and the doctor." A soft female voice said in the background somewhere. 

Slowly, your eyes fluttered open and instead of staring at the ceiling, all you could see was Beth's face hovering over your in relief. 

"Y/N? Can you hear me?" She asked gently and you nodded weakly.

As the seconds ticked by the pain through your stomach began to rise and you glanced down to take a look at the bullet wound to find that you had a thick white bandage wrapped around your stomach. Your jacket and tank top were gone, leaving you in jeans and a sports bra, but you were too out of it to give a shit right now. 

Your eyes flashed over to your left arm and you sighed realising that the scars, cuts and bandage around your left wrist was extremely visible, but it was too late to try and hide them now. Guess everyone knew about it now. 

"Do you remember what happened?" An unfamiliar voice asked. 

You turned your head to the right to find a man dressed in a lab coat standing beside Beth just as Daryl rushed through the door behind them. He stopped the second his eyes locked with yours and you tried to give him a reassuring smile, but it probably looked more like a grimace than anything.

"G-gun shot." You groaned, trying to sit yourself up, but the doctor quickly grabbed your shoulders.

"Take it easy, just lay down." He said calmly causing you to glare at the man.

"Get your hands off me." You instructed through gritted teeth and the doctor did as you said before you slowly moved yourself into a sitting position, ignoring the pain flaring through your stomach as you did so.

"This should help." Beth informed as she added something to your IV drip which you assumed were painkillers before the doctor continued to ask you questions and you answered them, silently wishing the guy would just go away.

"I think you're going to be okay. It doesn't seem like the bullet did any major damage, just stay in bed for a while and let your body heal." The doctor explained and you nodded. 

You didn't say anything more to the doctor before he walked out the room and your eyes landed back on Daryl who still hadn't moved from where he stood by the door, staring at you.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. If I didn't stab Dawn, then she wouldn't have drew her gun and you wouldn't have-" Beth began to apologise before you cut her off.

"It wasn't your fault, kid. I couldn't let her kill you. I'm just glad you're alive and back with your family." You answered causing Beth to smile through teary eyes as she leant down and hugged you gently.

"I'll go tell the others the good news. Get some rest." Beth said a few seconds later as she walked out the room, leaving you and Daryl alone.

He was still standing by the door and even from the distance and the hair covering part of his face, it was clear that he had barely slept and you hated that you were the reason for it.

"You look like shit." You commented, breaking the silence and you relieved that your voice sounded semi-normal as you watched Daryl's lips twitch up in a slight smile as he shook his head.

"Ya should see yourself." He muttered as he walked over to you, taking a seat on the chair beside your bed and your eyes locked with his. 

"Ya almost died." He whispered. 

You didn't miss the tears starting to rise in his eyes as he spoke and your heart broke. 

"Well, wouldn't be the first time." You tried to joke, but Daryl just glared at you as he reached out towards your left hand and took it, lacing your fingers together and you sighed, but didn't pull away. 

Neither of you said anything for a moment as you stared at him. You were the reason for his tears and you hated that. Nobody should cry over you, especially not Daryl, you didn't deserve that. 

"What I said to you earlier about doing whatever Rick decides, you have to go along with it. I'm a bad person and I'm not letting you get dragged down with me once your group realises that I'm still alive and want to kill me." You explained, but Daryl just shook his head. 

"It doesn't matter what ya did. It doesn't change how I feel 'bout ya." Daryl responded, his thumb tracing small circles over the back of your hand.

"It should." You whispered.

"It doesn't. 'N the group wants ya with us, they don't care 'bout ya past no more." He stated and you shook your head, not believing him in the slightest before something clicked. He said the group. The group wasn't here, half were back at the church and the others would be halfway to DC by now. 

"Everyone's here. All camped out in the hallway as we speak. The cure was bullshit 'n they came back." Daryl added, sensing your confusion. 

"I totally called it. I knew the whole cure thing was a load of crap, kinda sucks I was right though." You mumbled. 

Daryl to rolled his eyes at you as he slowly traced his thumb over the old scars across your wrist with a sad smile.

"C'mon help me up, I'm not saying here any longer." You declared, wanting to get his thoughts away from your scars and wanting to get the hell out of this damn hospital.

"Nah, doc said ya needed to rest." Daryl argued, but you didn't listen as you pulled the IV needle from your arm and slowly swung your legs over the side of the bed.

In an instant Daryl was by your side, his hands hovering over your shoulders knowing you didn't like being touched without permission, but wanting to be there in case you passed out again.

"I'm good." You said, standing yourself up straight as you rested your hand over the bandage trying to ignore the dull ache, but at least it wasn't a sharp pain anymore thanks to Beth's painkillers that had finally kicked in.

"Here." Daryl said as he began to pull his leather vest off, leaving him in his sleeveless button down as he helped you put the vest on. 

It was a little big for you, but it covered your bra and most your upper body without having to do the buttons up, so you gladly took it.

You spotted your sniper leaning against the wall at the far corner of the room and Daryl must have saw what you were looking at as he walked across the room and grabbed it before handing it to you and you smiled, taking your weapon and slinging it over your shoulder.

Slowly, you began to limp towards the door and nearly tripped over in the process if it wasn't for Daryl who grabbed you just in time and threw your arm over his shoulder to help you and you didn't argue.

The second you stepped into the hallway you froze. 

Holy shit, Daryl was right. The entire group was literally camped in the hallway, all of them sitting and lying down, covered in various blankets and pillows. Most of them were asleep, but Beth was talking softly with Maggie, Glenn and Abraham, who were the only ones awake.

"Oh my God, should you be up and walking?" Glenn suddenly questioned once his eyes landed on you. 

He said it a bit too loudly, but he didn't seem to notice or really care as the others all groaned and slowly woke up, but the second they spotted you, they all quickly stood up in shock.

"Well shit, you're one tough son of a bitch. Glad to see you still kicking." Abraham commented with a friendly smile and you smiled back at him, knowing that was his small way of apologising for the shit he'd said to you before he left the church a few days ago.

You talked with everyone for a while and to your shock they all seemed to be happy and relieved that you were okay before Rick walked down the hallway with baby Judith fast asleep in his arms, but the second he saw you standing there he froze with wide eyes.

"Ya still gonna kill me, Deputy? If so, make it a good shot. I don't die easily apparently." You half joked motioning towards the bandage that was slightly visible under Daryl's vest causing Rick to shake his head as he began to walk towards the group of you.

"We might have been on opposite sides of the law back in the day, but you have earned your place in the group. You're a survivor just like us, I just wish it didn't take you getting almost killed for me to realise that." Rick admitted, taking you by surprise. 

You stared at him for a few seconds before the group erupted in happy cheers and Daryl sighed with relief, still holding your arm over his shoulders as you leant into his side and rested your head against his shoulder. 

"Thank you, now let's get the hell out of here." You stated and the group didn't bother arguing with you. 

Rick spoke to the cops before you left and somehow convinced them to give you a spare car along with bags of food and water to take with you.

The group of you piled into the car along with the large truck that Abraham and the others had found along the way because apparently they crashed the bus and wrecked it which was a shame, that bus would have been perfect.

Nobody really had a destination in mind, so you suggested a small power station that you had stayed at once. It had high wire fences around it and was secure the last time you saw it. Nobody else had a better idea so they all agreed on the power station. 

It took nearly five hours before you pulled up in front of the tall barbed wire fence that lined the small power station. 

You stayed by the cars with Carl, Beth and Judith while the others went through the front gate to check and clear the place. You leant against the bonnet of the car with your sniper in your hands, watching their backs while Carl and Beth kept guard by the back of the cars, but to your relief they reappeared within five minutes and declared the place clear.

There wasn't much in the area minus the power lines and electrical boxes, but you pulled the cars into the yard and began to set up beds and tents in the small area. Tara and Maggie took guard duty and set up on top of one of the metal electrical boxes to give them a view of the whole area.

Daryl had disappeared to go hunting while you still had a few hours of daylight left and the rest of the group all worked on getting a small fire lit and some of the canned food cooked.

Everyone sat around the small campfire while you waited for the food to cook. They all talked quietly amongst themselves as you stood back, leaning against the side of the cop car and took in the moment.

"Hey." Rick voice said softly and you glanced to your left to find the former Deputy walking towards you. 

"Sorry about how I dealt with everything... I guess things aren't as black and white these days like they were when we first met." He explained causing to you chuckle softly which you quickly regretted as pain spiked through your stomach and you to winced. 

"Sorry." Rick quickly apologised, but you shook your head.

"You know, you could have figured it out yourself without Gareth telling you. All the clues were there, especially that first night on the road, I killed those bikers with bullets through their eyes and I was almost certain you'd put two and two together, but you never did... You didn't figure out that I was the assassin because you didn't want to." You answered truthfully 

Rick stared at you for a few seconds as he though about what you just said and nodded in agreement as he leant back against the car beside you, both of you watching the others sitting by the campfire.

"You're probably right. But, why fake your own death? The whole car crash thing? Why?" He asked curiously.

"The Feds from downtown were getting too close. I needed something to distract them while I laid low, so I staged my own death and then the dead started to walk a few months later. Crazy times." You stated shaking your head causing Rick to laugh softly from beside you, but he nodded agreement.

"Ain't that the truth." 

Judith began to whimper in Carl's arms from where he was sitting by the campfire and you watched as the young boy glanced over at his father with a 'help me' expression causing you to smile softly as Rick chuckled and pushed himself from the car. 

"Duty calls." He said and you nodded as he walked over to his children and scooped Judith up in his arms and the little girl instantly settled down.

Slowly, you began to limp over to the group, Carol instantly moving over so you could sit between her and Beth and you smiled and carefully sat down with a slight wince as you grabbed your stomach. The doctor had given you a small bottle of painkillers to take if you needed, but you kind of wanted the pain, so you kept the pills in the car.

"How are you feeling? Do you want me to get the painkillers?" Beth asked worriedly, but you shook your head as you rested your sniper down beside you.

"Nah, I'm good. But, I think I'll take that Sharpie now, if you still got it?" You asked quietly so the others couldn't hear. 

For a second, you thought that maybe you had said it a little too quiet, but then Beth's face stretched out into a smile as she pulled the Sharpie out from her sweater pocket and held it out towards you.

"I'm glad you asked for it. Sorry, pink's the only colour I got." She apologised, but she didn't sound sorry as you took the Sharpie to find that it was in fact pink causing you to roll your eyes as the young girl smiled even more. 

"Thank you, pink will be just fine." You replied with a gentle smile. 

You twirled the pen around in your hand while the others all continued to talk quietly amongst themselves. Some were telling stories and sharing memories from the past, others planning and thinking of where to go next while you sat there and silently listened to the friendly chatter.

20 minutes later, Daryl came back with a dozen squirrels tied to a rope and the whole group broke out in huge smiles and instantly began helping the hunter clean and skin them.

Once the squirrels were ready to cook, Daryl swapped seats with Carol who insisted on cooking the food so he could be with you and you weren't going to complain about that. 

"How's the bullet wound? Ya alright?" He asked, sitting down beside you as he stretched his legs out, his thigh resting against yours and you smiled softly at the small contact.

"I'm fine, just wish I could help more around camp." You admitted and you didn't realise you were talking so loud because half the group all spoke up at once. 

"You nearly got yourself killed saving Beth, you deserve a rest."

"You told us about this camp, that's helping."

"You have done more than enough for this group."

They all called out from around the campfire. catching you by surprise. All them were looking over at you with friendly smiles causing you to roll your eyes, but you just nodded, unable to stop yourself from smiling at their words before you all began to eat the squirrel and canned food.

A few hours later, everyone had fallen asleep around the campfire covered in blankets, pillows and sleeping bags. Glenn was the only one awake as he kept watch from the top of an electrical box, but neither you or Daryl were asleep either as you leant against Daryl's side fiddling with the Sharpie while you both stared at the small glowing embers of the fire.

"What's with the pen?" Daryl asked quietly. 

He rested his chin on top of your head while you leant against his chest, but you didn't answer him straight away as you thought about how to answer it. 

"Ya don't wanna tell me? That's alright, ya don't have to tell me."

"It's a therapy technique... Beth told me about it, to stop me from... you know." You trailed off lifting the sleeve of your new jacket -thanks Maggie- as you showed him the small pink stars you had drawn on your skin earlier and you felt Daryl nod his head slightly.

"I guess everyone knows about them now." You whispered, watching as Daryl ran his fingers gently over the old scars near the pink stars over your left wrist.

"Nah, they only know 'bout the rumours, that's it... Why do ya cut? Ya never did answer that question all those weeks ago." He asked quietly and you shrugged your shoulders trying to think about a way of answering that actually made sense.

"It's the only pain I can control." You answered and Daryl didn't say anything for a few seconds before he nodded.

"That make sense." He whispered, catching you by surprise slightly as you tilted your head up towards him to find him smiling softly down at you as he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead.

"You're the first person who's ever said that." You said, lowering your head slightly as you thought back to the first time you started cutting and about your life before the dead started to walk. 

You were so young, but you had a purpose. You were taking down the people on your fathers list, you were making the world a better place, but now... you didn't have a purpose. Being an assassin was all you knew, what were you meant to do now?

"What's wrong?" Daryl asked a few minutes later.

You didn't realise you had been sitting there staring at your wrists in silence and you shook your head. It was stupid. You were alive and with a good group of people, your thoughts were stupid.

"C'mon, what's goin' through that head of yours?" He asked, his voice slightly concerned and you sighed.

"I was the best version of myself out there, following in my fathers footsteps, trying to make the world a better place... I had a purpose, I was fighting for something, but now... For the first time in as long as I can remember I don't have a purpose. And I guess, if I'm being honest, I'm just... I'm scared." You admitted, shaking your head at yourself because that sounded so pathetic, but it was true.

"Ain't gotta be scared. Ya have a place here, with this group, with me." Daryl insisted, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he pulled you into his chest. 

You smiled, letting him hold you as you both stared at the campfire and for the first time in a long time, you could actually see the light at the end of the tunnel and you knew things were going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I just want to say thank you to all those who have stuck through this fic and have supported me throughout this journey. This fic was a first for me, it was completely different from anything I have ever written and darker than I have ever written, but i had to give it a happy ending and I am so grateful for all your sweet comments.
> 
> I will admit, i wrote some of this fic based off my own experiences with self harm and I just wanted to say to those of you out there who can relate, you are not alone. You are strong. You are brave. You are worth it. And you have to keep fighting. I know sometimes it might not feel worth it, it might feel easier to give in and give up, but there is light at the end of the tunnel even if you can’t see it yet, i promise you, there is and sometimes the brightest light comes from the darkest places. I don’t know who you are or what you have been through, but from the famous words of Jared Padalecki ‘ALWAYS KEEP FIGHTING’
> 
> I love you all, stay strong, stay safe and thank you again for reading this fic xx


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